“To do something half hearted is a sin.” Adolf Hitler
“In internet no one knows you are a dog.” Anonymous
Some Preface
So I finally get to interview her. She just agreed to come to our place for a low profile but a power packed exciting interview without demanding anything in return! For me its just craziness- the fact that I can relate myself (soul) so much to hers (I can’t think of interviewing any other person right now.) Also its kind of a thanksgiving to her for revolutionizing various aspects regarding female actors in Indian cinema like- pay, ‘weight’ of roles, raising the level of acting etc.
As soon as she agreed to my requests I contacted my friends and seniors for proper arrangements. We found the right room for the interview and also a proper video camera. We also put a white screen across the chair just like in Ellen’s. We put some flower pots beside the chairs just like “Between the Ferns.” Everything was well planned- escorting her from airport, refreshments, lunch, etc. so that she never regrets to come here.
So the day finally arrived. Luckily no one recognized her in airport (she wore a wig). We were all set for the interview. I invited whoever I had in mind. They all stood behind the camera. Just one mantra- Just don’t take the ‘word’ outside.
The Interview
Me: So!
KR: So? (reflex answer)
Me: Why did you come?
KR: I came because of you... all those emails. I could relate to that craziness.(laughs) Plus I realized that you are a true fan.
Me: You fight like no other. Your technique is unique. What drives you?
KR: No one. I drive myself.
Me: Are you really the Batman? Or would you like to play the Catwoman?
KR: Whoever has the more screen presence... (laughs) (audience laughs) ... and more cool gadgets...
Me: (Laughter fades) Listen. Have you watched Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman in Batman Returns(1992)?
KR: No.
Me: I was watching that yesterday and for the first time realized the tremendous weight of the character Catwoman. Although the film was awful.
KR: Aha.
Me: I think there are only two women in India who can gracefully play it. One is you and the other is Rekha. Rekha is old, so its only you.
KR: (frowns) Okaaay... thank you Kunal.. (audience claps in accelerated manner) (she smiles)
Me: You told in an interview that you admire Michael Jackson.
KR: Yes I do. In fact he inspires me.
Me: Have you watched the extended version of his ‘Jam’ video?
KR: No. Only the song part. Why?
Me: There he teaches Michael Jordon how to dance. He shows some moves in lightning speed and repeatedly says, ‘Give all you have got. Give all your energy.’
Can we play the video please?
[Video plays- ‘Jam’ extended version]
KR: (Seeming happy seeing the video) Whats the context?
Me: Actually I always thought that you give your 100% in your work. So I always related this video to you-to your style.
KR: Okay. Thank you Kunal... I... you are a true fan indeed. I never thought about my work that way. You have made a great judgement and I will try to keep up to it.
(Audience claps)
Me: Right now I am the happiest person in the world you know. So...I will jump in the couch just like Tom Cruise in Opera’s show.
(I jump in the couch. Throw my fist hard in the air)
(Audience laughs, few curses and abuses me quietly)
(She smiles the usual)
Me: Have you read Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler?
KR: No.
(One audience abuses me loudly)
(She laughs facing that audience)
(I smile watching her laugh. Its like a dream come true. The lights reflecting from her face. She looks wildly-Godly.)
(Laughter fades)
Me: You don’t go to award shows. Right?
KR: Thats true.
Me: Have you seen MTV Video Music Awards 2009 where Kayne West got into the stage during Taylor Swift’s best video acceptance speech and said ‘Beyonce deserved it!’?
KR: No I don’t have time to watch those.
Me: What would you do if...if someone gets into the stage during your acceptance speech and says someone else deserved it?
KR: Yes. That is why I avoid award shows... Your questions are weird but intense!
(Audience laughs)
(She laughs)
(For a moment I thought she got angry. Phew.)
Me: Who is the craziest actor in Bollywood?
KR: No one. Everyone is getting so commercial. Very few loves the art of cinema.
Me: So no boyfriend huh?
KR: Is this question somehow connected to the previous one?
(She laughs, trying to avoid something)
(Audience laughs)
Me: Yeah, I guess.
(laughter fades)
KR: Yes. I am single.
Me: Okay. We are almost done.
As a fan I would like you to stay single and give everything you have for your work.
KR: Yup. Thats the motto till now. Thanks.
Me: Thank you so much for coming madam.
KR: Thanks to you too Kunal. I enjoyed it totally.
(Audience claps)
[Recording stops]