Self-criticism doesn’t work
In times of emotional distress, we intentionally try to lessen our suffering when we react with self-criticism. In terms of evolution, self-criticism emerged as a reaction to social feelings like shame, humiliation, and guilt. Its goals include enhancing our sense of control, shielding us from others' judgement, channelling our rage, and inspiring us to act differently in the future. Self-criticism is a developed method of ensuring that one remains a member of the in-group in order to live.
In my work with clients, I frequently observe this: they think that the harder they are on themselves, the more likely it is that they will be inspired to change and, as a result, accepted by others. They will become stronger if they only exert more effort in the face of unpleasant emotions. They will eventually achieve their lofty goals if they set them for themselves. Their guiding principle is that all forms of self-criticism lead to improvement, more effort, and increased success.
But it's not quite that easy. Self-criticism only serves to deceive your brain into thinking you have more control than you actually have. Self-criticism exposes you to your own judgement rather than shielding you from others'. This means that feelings are suppressed rather than expressed, even when it may channel rage. While some may argue that they need to be critical of themselves in order to improve, this goes against a fundamental concept of behaviourism, which holds that reinforcement is more effective than punishment.
Fortunately, the antidote to self-criticism is a smoother, less travelled path that you can choose to walk. This is self-kindness.