Throughout our lives, we may encounter situations that might contribute to losing the sense of who we are. It might be because of being so engrossed in a romantic relationship to the point of becoming someone whom we believe our partners would love better. Or it could be just spending time with people, whom we sometimes consider friends, that do not share the same values. It might even be because the people who should be considered as family have spent their time telling us who we are. Most times though, we lost ourselves simply because we are afraid of being alone.
It is a bit saddening to realize how being alone has become synonymous with being lonely. The severity of this thinking can be seen in various posts wherein random netizens take photos of strangers spending time alone, either eating or walking alone, and making a whole story about how sorry they feel for that strangers. Isn't it funny that these netizens see having alone time as something to be sorry for instead of something essential?
We, as a society, have grown to become too accustomed to having people around us almost all of the time due to the rise of technology. Even distance can no longer keep people apart when a single post or chat or call can let everyone know what we have been up to. Our lives are put on display same with others. Barely any day passed without us socializing.
In reality, being social is part of our human nature. No man can survive being on his own for so long. However, this does not mean that there is no benefit to spending some time by ourselves. Reflection of one's self happend when we face ourselves without the opinions of others.
If we think about it, we might have a hard time describing who we are without using the words of how others describe us. While it is certainly good to learn how other people perceived us, it is important to remember that no one knows ourselves better than us. We just have to learn how to distinguish our own voices from the loud opinions of who others believe us to be.
All this to say that while spending time with loved ones is important, spending quality time with ourselves is also essential. Learning how to be alone and being happy with spending time by ourselves contribute to a better quality of life. We learn how to appreciate others by learning how to value ourselves first. We learn how to distinguish between what we want versus what we think we want because others want it. We learn how to be more honest with ourselves, and be more comfortable with being uniquely true to our beings.
Today, some strangers might look at us with pity when we are seen eating alone at a restaurant or going to concert alone, but we know deep within that taking ourselves out on nice dates are a much-deserved treat and does not take away any fun in the experience.
Being alone does not equal being lonely. If we have to choose someday, I hope that we choose to be alone and happy with life than to be with someone just so we will not be alone.
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