The banging and crashing sounds behind my door startled me awake immediately. I slowly sat up, my fingers searching blindly across the small stools sitting beside my bed for my glasses (I have been wearing them since 4).
The loud noises paused for a minute and then suddenly, my mom barges in with urgency, shrieking with panic and fear
"BABY! YOU'VE GOT TO HIDEE!!!
I'M GOING TO GET HELP! PLEASE DON'T SAY A WORD OR HE'S GOING TO COME KILL YOU LIKE HE DID TO YOUR DAD!!" She begged, pulling away the thick shiny-black rug from a corner of the room to reveal a hidden basement
"No" I stood motionlessly, staring directly into her troubled eyes "I'll go with you to get help" I quietly said
"NO!! it's to keep you safe! Don't you get it???? I only managed to knock Him out, Babyyy, we don't have much time!!!" She cried.
Before I could object, she plucked me from my feet, hastily pushed and forced me down, giving me no chance to use the ladder connecting with the basement's opening. I fell on my back.
"Baby..I promise to be back" She calmly said from above, the locks suddenly clicked and she was gone.
MOM WAS GONE. Again.
I squeezed my head in-between my thighs, sobbing quietly. Why am I always this weak???
I felt my soul slip an inch further, One extra inch left.
She was never returning. I had seen the Mail resting on the kitchen counter earlier this evening..She had run off for another man, I squeezed in my toes and tightened my weak and trembling knees, gnashing my teeth in agony and pain.
This was the third time and It never seemed to be in the need to end.
She would always dump me in here and never return. I would starve and become a corpse.
I HAVE BEEN STARVING AND BECOMING A CORPSE FOR A WHILE NOW! I crushed the plastic recommended glasses in my small palms and blood from the tiny cuts formed, they were colourfully lined.
When would Five year old me be finally free from Purgatory? This was more like the Underworld.
Why do I have to go through this heartbreaking event over and over! Wasn't I good kid??
I've tried and cried too much. The knowledge that I would forever be kept in here because Mom wasn't ready to accept change and God was so unsettling.
How do I ever rest or find peace?? I muttered bitterly. My soul do not deserve this torture. I tried to scream but all that left my mouth was an empty sound. I wasn't ever going to be heard.
Or was I?
Burying my face to my lean laps, I reluctantly let go.
I gave up my quest. My quest of making it to the City of Lights, I gave up my quest of finding peace and love.