A Little Bit Unsure About the New Ward
The Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints that I have met have all been much nicer than any other group of people I have met. I am ready for the familiar kindness. The questions I get are going to be hard to respond to. Am I ready?
Do your parents live in the area? (My mom has two homes in the area; I don't talk to her My dad bought a new home 100 miles north. We don’t talk. They tricked me into what turned out to be a front group for Scientology where I would learn life skills, supposedly.)
Minus 1 point.
Have you talked to anyone about the Priesthood? (Yes. But. I haven’t been following the Commandments so good and still haven’t read the entire Book of Mormon even though I was baptized 3 years ago.)
Minus 1 point.
Fact: I am reading the Book of Mosiah (amazing).
What type of work do you do? (I don’t work at Microsoft or Amazon like the rest of you, so I have the number 1 job in the Ward.
Plus 1 point.
Minus 1 point (vanity).
The reason they will ask where my parents live might be to know if they are members of the Church of Jesus Christ. Usually converts (what members call one who was not born into Mormonism and then decided to get baptized as an adult.)
Hopefully they just ask about my family’s history which I discovered on:
Familysearch.org
It has so many personal memoirs, stories, and so much information about my ancestors who came to the West on the Mormon trail. My family history is rich with members that go back extraordinarily far. Maybe some of the people in my church think of me as just a random scoundrel who was amazed at the BOM and wanted to follow the Commandments.
The plan is to not mention my roots, or the extent of my family problems or the extent of some of my recent housing problems. I want to know which of these church goers is real and acts just as nice to confirmed scoundrels as they do to confirmed covenant people and who might be able to help with my problems.
Scientology does a mean work on your credit and rental history. One of these cheery executives or smiley programmers should want to pay off my high interest car loan I bet.
Bet they ask me to give a talk in sacrament meeting. I think a Ward is a few hundred people and most people give a talk about once a year. I’m willing to do it because after they are SO nice. They also send me nice emails after. You lose track of time and space on the walk up there or when you look out on the Saints as you first start to talk. It’s a rush. It’s not for everybody.
I would much rather stand up there where I can talk without getting any questions.
My plan is to be the number1member; I can’t do that fielding questions about Scientology all the time, living with actual confirmed scoundrels (not like me), living with a screaming naked drunk woman roommate, or stand a broken community hot tub that really is just a fountain of lies that management servth and drinkth.
Donate: ETC
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