The thinking process is as follows:
- their country
- their law
- their court
- their judge
- their money
And I don't have to. Unconditional love exist and I'm no exception - I acknowledge immutable laws of the universe - both on the intellectual and emotional level.
I want (I will, I'm going to) support and commit to a monthly payment. That is why one of the recent posts - https://steemit.com/opensourcedivorce/@osdivorce/monday-1st-october-child-maintenance-payment-kind-of - that triggered letter from the Child Maintenance people:
I did the monthly calculation myself.
£142.35
I like the numbers - 1 2 3 4 5
lowest digits, each repeated only once. I don't like "race to the bottom" and who is willing to oppose more... I'd much rather add an extra digit to the mix: £1234.56
is much closer to the actual cost of living in London, it is much closer to my actual earning potential. Too bad the messy divorce situation affects my levels of concentration, motivation, focus.
I'm ending up reading policies about the toys - https://steemit.com/legalfiction/@osdivorce/interpreter-toys-policies-paperwork - and associating pain from being physically present in that environment. Just think about how much trauma and negative emotions has been experienced in such places...
Personally I think £142.35 is not enough, I could use a Polish phrase "marne grosze":
Thank you. Your instruction has been received and will be processed shortly. If we are unable to action your request we will be in touch. Please note your request may take up to 24 hours to be processed.
https://genesis.re/encryption/
U2FsdGVkX19/uUTwCNRZjFY565USzjNknh+UeTN6MiOOMs4T84xJ4jQ6yMp5eiDfr6wO86e0o1zg6sdkRt1pL0ZVs5Rok6jhzMkP8Exuhq2gEClvO8KzF/Zj+VcE8Tf676Y1GPVEGsqmT1Pa8ez8+kWbCiQL8GqHycDA5pWoP0CCI5rthCRXPdzKLgZAhh7/i4k5rKpN1X1Kbq8PiiXnlRbRsRJN2Jffd0YuIW0mhkqY2mRXB667H/eAyYBtee2BjNmFSTdpf/1Auo/k/YqOwVSGjD0sYi6wVsw3+zPnGScmOo4MYVuAHLxTknpqvF4G9wzV4QCZfrEgx2mjs/wLoqyTB9w3Tg4fxVDxiE1Y6le5LCV+w1xsjX6+bxX/kpiLnB2Y5oW6TvYRo6k8oJSzfNKXH67wk9uqxWHVM94X5ENIVJJadixBbQvJikuIOej0Z6rzz89tTdaN7M5bV/omJc2/X/7GK8nUmrusvey0JTN7t/s31PLJfL7l4dnbvZX3cRwuLmgQK5MW0G0A77zeNFvPWBpou09L3mZiPA7nj875tdv+xZfPc+6ggW5vS3jpziBZxvpokEofWgGSH3jE+yru3/gWtiOIwQOUiU8x0En5uEWNfGj2xJ2grjDFVQPHgo5eBBIJc0qLRDL9Nt/GlxzUMxTy3jg0W9nfH600q+w2qP0rkU/eFKMdeUsMMoGhoSu+ic78B7rA00zt5TO/soeKn7CyhJhkCJxUOElNqPGVWzAC3Kh/32MO5QAouNrm58zIETgGyf7yRFFY6I3nyPbEAOWdY1eEuvGbH1lf5utsAAOa5uiUJr5Sq/Ob2dymS6KA7TfrdHsTBIfcl53YRxvitStKYj6o6QWLaaWvuxLdkBRxLdlYo8Hb9CcPDg1di88FKrJX9RVs5W8WQbKar/fya1OTDMUBeJOQOq6SOQpmP8sXHwg+8PZNEneZBbpEh1Amr9gcyuvj+3Yn0DErWmRYv/MJeQdaS+N2pnUBZkguw0Upp23a2Q9Hh/EE7qD6Z2m0C2U19Ll7ZWHel8aeaO96GcK/243VOACkxI8BJXPvwS4gth2BcCQdE1BnkbXp4uI1tO5OOTUcF0RcTEJWHbLHzFADS8LHjBywBDWSPYS4guMeQNLQyGPso+qlbBNeR0Ttg9Tdnxpn4ASU+ARgEdfkTGMkOItJB0AI1dGAhEzwu13NDEWsCzRTCcyFpdLOMKFJ3/PM8uXsym3LkFuEQ0AvsdLo2eT6EKpl7vVGYE79vkNmolHcUS4PpB7W6tDGX+8OnIwcGjXxcesPPIuYLo8c21SD7d1q7N/7ChE2mw/8Xa1LGkUfxSW9N8Btc1AKW4zNQHwXp7A3yyoB0VUsIPAr8BeVmM0NUlMJIEhn3QeEQvZ/ghSMufyBH+MWEuZK72mU5pYkgayF1CO3DWAyfDzU3TGzWinAB8FgAVL2s3gcz1Nh9ywcCcuz2tHeynBSGP2ZCTUPCuZ63hxJi+GW+2wmopu6BWyRZUbxrm9ZkTzcz9gRFMLnC0VpxKfEQvjv/xQpOfrhr5V2peo7xz2E6u6kyz94SciBN4dGf3cGDyK/QA4UEDaUqiqbfn8qX4wA4PCWi32xVWyJq5tp5rE77FiZFgVOcL/zwJTEjhzMsG5kbdxPQwabnCujNRBgOV9Jm2kgpOKHAc64f26ztAau52giOJtuIg2rBSwRr3WjfZTrI01xBPwj96kzjkozYmyaUkcUOUYoktXlfiDXuBysMxaqbpKAG6Va1Y9ISpxj6m5X7FoNDe2POQDOG1nVic/MjfNI4J938NlXv5wVp+Uw5AEWnzxPRdoPk5pmwPashaQJF+75Bi/Euh1/w74iiIpICSV5X2JDKmGpYb1UXoGF9F8wUe5C07N4hIf6UsWepjLUBHlnR4H33E9k7BYbhFLQwJPOQCLabEf+SbsRyjSd9V4OwJcZFLNE1u2Xp8EEKHy81TxXM2m29JWTwKzCK7c6A7dHDlqJTsNuGe03GWyZS9NqgWmxntyj3U025+nlogy1CPV/a/ArxP8Tbjsa98SmZmFfnTnY98zudjS3u9FDLt4sGGA44L6sgvLGHoR2oCyfD3NKxeoaMdV7qC9kX10RJQ2tGlWcj1OKCFlDCM+UelSXsyYs3KUDGaNxKLBM71mNB5DH/6Sa5nOLURVUcuzGf7XOOLq4WySGjc3VhvybjksMk+pdNmN/2nSUQWUcSGGx/qE66hCjlZ7y2jHlK/RC9mmkdHgXcosN6ZzVEdZfupfvrqgf6ImG7DqZ69zwkXgYsOVcyR2NBUqri6qxPA21jx5CVI6+D+w5XUf8LZzqpbh9hNrFjhrwPRGKNZAF38+QAUg7UMjTk+0MA9PwEhE5v6TA0onD86MxySm2gXbKSwX6K9tbbPu3SQeOpvIi9XcdGdkiTb23981USTM2F/9Mv/PmUtSAUI3dpzCMIJCPmYsbZt9lugrZ6xCxyAXsBTkl4ARsJVzSWL5Xw+0Jckcg91MpM4l09dRA1euMY7PQ6t/gotPUOrDuwOjqYdAjyOR648NaDMHKztY1Eqn0Tq48MWBpoyS3Zz2UW832arehvQSxwrp47uS4+AS83N7ARu4WX9MPsE3xTsH3D8QOs0JWweZeQx//T+1zjJ0ASLajoxowa8o/4hlaDAV2xIsA0LGK51cCJT5BUMUAzL5qWiDA1l8NkjTN8/zJqH5pqNDEmtElkrXeGu3pGbrgtGKospZTqcShBJEYNhj73l+4EbHpla2q/WGvmn9Lq+uPmzAArx7z3Rm/hg0txxyMZGjDTIF0R6L55gBieRMjIuytNzyBTfpc9qOJvwt0ufYxQe9gkWckgxHb5CQS0Cx17q+Tv5ug5TVGL3AU39sLBbLXW9JZLeNJz2faKPY2Q8t+EV5MCX8G8mnSYhRDs2N0LTxTc4Z9i4y5ryWADj4fnTvxFnn8uFgfVhYUWawxUv+h7wwgxkChIzsbPubsddZBoPjdjXvplXuKCtMG93aaLqpRJA1qHkuc3czYwt7tvAu3VhYUvFHtOFwInVsMUmex+XwjtYAj/wc7Te4C+O7nOzVrFAPTQcTjwEZOevG0UMKPZze9CGikSDBYymTHNkNfRVK4nC+MSjEqp63OgptrHKyFpKCU6LZFylKhHQGyT48m32UBwy23D45Cy8oMV//a1+FC6Inzf7e9IeylS0bVb0+bomUuRf92QSZlDGLXAcLDIMOwF0rrV+mFnrqLWJvyKf47RakoY5mnzVBsTs0bPM6Ogky7lVJblV4jW+P/PGjfQx27vvuweXO5vYPK+y4GVElAG/g+yFe3l8T+EtQ5ifOYAm3gqHMEjC3GcPIoVyrlrk53bgCz78TSFB00aX/Oe1n1hdPYJYZu8uPsLpnj5CxEVKDi1Nnfj+xPdD5Nj6K9OxG8jZIHbjVxyV+W+MbqUKnvT3MWmHgiWIgM5k4jIpTAzkCI6kw17CQaogZpKYfsSTJ7KNm96SiyLiByve6QlJTSLL1u01ELz++SOPd8CjGHj523OS5fWns6tGzVVjf3iLT/xbSYW3ZNCHTxfgCTTuxmNrXbyMAlrw2ID9hJz7ZHWy/Jspz0xP4Rij/l9aM2ke3yn+zLMZKuUNsx0VM/TTlU+Q6FfThlTV87B7ntuUfqBARXuaPkO9tqE1EpiWyCzH6yPiEYO8HySiv3UjWzYD/rv/Owji3IlxwRYlmbahItqT4ZvFKwaDxmJlH8ulITQo24QmS8wnZ5ccw4e/iYr1Yew1upXvg6mPNlleZyNOkh/TR1AKyALTfamFIAEJ0Kcsh5enQLOSYaJ4a0k5HdSXNAFi4x9e0Bc8tPBLf8ZhIcRalPk9XrX27PF4H4ilJji0G/Bhr0N3I9a/24zgtn0pQ9UXtI/yuRZsUlO36PRlCICohyohG+4SYXlYfff/JF7uXrsXVJ6spv/CNzUsqv6GVsRwT2zMd2zUvB8whCzBVxxZQSEgdPqWUfHC5jP2yqfZEUgEbpqIxVl7C9SlEPUNoki2SnT1guaEoYkwUmQIArZS6XIljLn2mgvcLLXvxsCA3Hm9c+nyX1SrarNATT7gtnhIEw2hsfp9S5TtV1com77urQj5g0fqfbN5hOipU2MvJI1ZEkPVWj4exaxffA2uUsx86cXHTSJxIv8on7uy4nAvyCZS8KWIjbF7g5KFKbhmHBCUAF6SaIGsoAIrwyRiDmkUPIKfJCF82CGFGwp/Z9mvaLFBcXHmaDfw/pnrK2eriWJPSkm/39UiKdNjHeAYYs+aSqnfI4lRAiY9VP29F3KF2LX/LTGkR30dptYc2Wl3GBN3kK0nyy4GZ04FNwABQ7YrX88ob5PcTmWL3bQ6GUSoLdqAXMUgILz6IiLzm7q7/tAudoQpwZmxFQTe1A+vTSLXbpamkdLWX2ZqINg/svUbZAUjNfV3qAcaraRkIa6RVKotQ9REpgo0jvuwEa1gQNlhw=
Dear _____,
100% appreciating your help and support.
I hope that you are properly compensated for all the time and attention that you are offering to the _____’s family.
I really wish there was a magic wand / silver bullet / an easy way out. I’m worried that the situation is beyond point of repair.
At the same time I am aware that walking away - leaving jurisdiction permanently - will make any potential future efforts more difficult.
That was the primary message of my communication with _____ - I don’t want to walk away but you need to assess it and consider it as an option.
I’m genuinely hoping to achieve mutually satisfying agreement - in the the best interest of all the parties involved.
You can read on the blog: https://steemit.com/law/@osdivorce/open-source-divorce-everything-in-public
“I regret that I've invested so much energy in evidencing all the atrocities that happened to me... Meticulously cataloguing, taking screenshots, recording audio.”
I should now better that forgiveness is a powerful gift, while sticking (consequences, commitment) to a bad plan is not cool.
(example of a bad plan - we are getting divorce anyway - no point in trying)
Yep. Wrong attitude. Misaligned incentives. Mental states. Not taking long-enough time perspective. Not refilling emotional bank account, not spending quality time together... Many other things, anything and everything. Now things went sideways... Is it beyond point of repair? Hard to tell... I'm worried I could get into legal trouble - leaving the UK is definitely an option.
That's why emphasising all the time - let's find a solution!
(no, paying extortionate amount each month does not count)