Hello, My Dearly Missed Steemians!
It's no understatement to say that I belong on Steemit and that I hold a strong sense of family and community here. But it's also no secret that I have been missing in action.
In the last several months since the Fall, my life has taken a strong spiral downward. I found myself beyond stressed -- between work deadlines, Steemit posts, closing on my first home, trying to make sure I drink enough water . . . I was LOSING it.
After several weeks of (what felt like) close call heart attacks/near death experiences, I decided to go to the doctor. (And by "decided" I mean my wife @introspector carried my sobbing, shaking, fragile soul to the only place we hoped could help.)
The doctor entertained me by checking my heart and lungs and heart again, just to assure me that my body was firing on all cylinders (EXCEPT MY BRAIN LOLZ). She talked with me for over an hour and it was the first time in months that I felt like I could take full, deep, normal paced breaths. It was the first time I could reach into my brain for a rational thought and not just find static.
By the end of that session, she said the diagnosis was simple:
"You have classic anxiety."
Anxiety.
Generalized Anxiety and Panic Disorder.
ANXIETY. WTF?
I have never thought it could be ME and but here I was just so f*king thankful to have an answer for the constant tension and mental disarray.
I am slowly learning to reintegrate hobbies into my life, Steemit being the one I've missed most. As I jump back in, I hope to connect with others that are learning to live with mental health challenges. It's a constant battle of refusing to let your condition diminish your qualify of life, yet all the while yielding to the realities that you must live different. I look forward to reconnecting with old friends (shout out to the LGBT+ crew!) and am hopeful to connect with new, fresh faces and stories.
This is my first post in a long time, and I hope it's not my last. But if it is, I won't let the drive crazy because I am learning to do things out of my desire to BE BETTER, not just DO BETTER. But more on that later...
I honestly recently did a huge unfollow of all the people never updating but for some reason I left you ‘followed’ because I somehow felt you’d come back!
I’m glad I did. Sorry to hear your story, it must have been so so scary to go through all of that. Luckily your wife was there to help... <3
I know @didic has written quite a bit on his Anxiety, but there are more who wrote about it on Steemit as well. It’s a good thing to share with others, so for that I’m glad you’re back!
Be well dear!
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Thank you!! That means so much that you were hopefully anticipating my return :-) I have so much love for this platform, and I’m always drawn back. Just need to learn more balance in my engagement with it!
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Yes! Make a schedule for yourself from the start so you are protected a bit. You see, you can leave for months and people still love it when you come back. So you can also just come online and write / comment once week ;-) (Or less :D)
Find out what works for you and don't go too fast! I slept awful the first 4 months here, I was so excited! And I was mentally stable, but it still took a toll.
Love <3
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I have GAD and all the fun associated with that...Xanax when needed. :)
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So sorry but glad you have found ways to cope <3
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Glad you are back!
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Appreciate you, @carlgnash!
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So sorry to hear about this happening to you. A similar thing happened to me at the end of last year and like you I found myself strapped to a heart monitor at the Dr thinking I was having a heart attack. Just to be told it's a panic attack and I've since been diagnosed a general anxiety disorder.
It's an awful experience and a tough road but it can be managed and overcome. Writing and Steemit is one of the things I use to help. Writing is healing for me and has helped me work through all sorts of bottled up issues.
Wishing you all the best xxx.
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@jusipassetti, seriously though, why do panic attacks feel like heart attacks?! Its one of the scariest feelings to endure and the hardest part is not being embarrassed about it all because the behavior just feels so irrational. Writing has been helpful for me, too! I am finding that just putting things down in writing is allowing me to process my feelings, and here on Steemit, it is validating that I am not crazy haha.
Thanks for being a friend and I will definitely always been here to support and empathize.
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I have no idea @betterbeing. I also normally get mine while I'm driving which just aggravates the whole thing. I found great comfort speaking about it here on Steemit. There are really so many supportive people and it's always good to feel that you can talk about it openly. Looking forward to reading some more posts from you 😄
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I know all of these feels, friend. For me, it's been about slipping from anxiety down to depression. Sending virtual hugs if wanted.
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Hugs always needed! I will be catching up on your blog very soon, @didic! I honestly hate this struggle for you (for us!).
I know at a point, engaging with Steemit just became too much. Not so much because the platform is demanding, but because I tend to put too much pressure on myself. I’m hoping to come back and engage in a healthier way, and I know one way to do that is to just be a friend and show empathy and listen.
Glad you’re still here and always so real!
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Hi your post has been upvoted by vis4, the LGBT+ curation bot! Come and visit us on Discord
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It's good to have you back. I am so happy you received a diagnosis. Anxiety can be draining and life-interrupting, but it doesn't have to be. <3
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Thank you so much. I am learning exactly that. Anxiety doesn't HAVE to drain me, but I do have to be intentional about keeping it at bay. I appreciate you so much and your blog. Your consistency is inspiring.
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