My entire debut solo album was a work of catharsis.
Looking back, I regularly experience cognitive dissonance, and I think to myself, "is that me? What the fuck was I doing?"
It's really difficult to explain to people who have never experienced this kind of crazy, just what the healing process entails. Long after the physical healing, psychological scars linger, and yet, on the outside, you apeear fine.
I didn't sleep properly for over 3 years. I was numb to every interaction and nothing could penetrate the darkness. I had decided that the only logical resolution to my predicament was suicide. Luckily for me, I had filled my schedule with work and social commitments, which meant that I had forced myself into the position of not being able to let anyone down.
I became obsessive about cleanliness, tidiness and order - everything had to be in its place - to the point where I would spend 10 minutes lining up my pens on my desk.
This all seems quite ridiculous to me now, but at the time, it all made perfect sense.
We all have tough times and we all lose our minds. Whoever you are, wherever you may be, and whatever you are going through, I love you.
Look after yourselves my loves, it's a jungle out here. x
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If you want to listen to my album, you can check it out for FREE over on Bandcamp: https://tommypoppers.bandcamp.com/releases
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If you want to check out the finished version of this song, you can check it out for free over on Bandcamp: https://tommypoppers.bandcamp.com/track/p-t-s-d
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