"...remove anything that sounds superstitious..."

That hits the nail on the head; my intentions are exactly this. If you're interested an even more thorough demystification of the uncertainty principle I know just the video for you. It's from one of my favorite math channels on Youtube, 3Blue1Brown. If you get the chance and the willingness, that video is less than 20 minutes and I'd bet you'll come away with a fuller, less magical understanding of the uncertainty principle. Assuming there's any magic left in your understanding, that is ;)

"...one or both theories function based on at least one false assumption, and probably a big one."

Oh yes. Logic itself stands on it's head when you put it under a microscope. In science specifically there's the problem of induction, which threatens to undermine the whole pursuit. I'm a bit surprised how often science-minded people, if they know about the problem of induction, choose to simply ignore it. I suppose that isn't uncommon though. Philosophy is difficult to grapple with to say the least, and scientists have enough keeping them up at night what with climate change, public health crises, and trying to peel back the veil of the unknown. Not to mention all that hard science they're doing.