How To Stop Being So Damn Cynical

in life •  8 years ago  (edited)

The economy sucks. Everyone's an asshole. That one blogger? Yeah, she's a scammer.

Pessimism permeates the air.

Is there anything positive in the world anymore?

It's no secret that our society is enamored with the temptation of impending doom. It's what sells… but as information becomes more abundant our options are beginning to expand.

There's no law saying you have to be cynical. In fact, the most successful people in the world are choosing to opt out of the world of negativity.

No, that doesn't mean they are buying one way plane tickets to Fuji and ignoring the realities of the world. Rather, they are consciously choosing to focus on what brings them closer to their goals.

Sure, the world isn't perfect. But don't let that stop you from seeing the good in the world… because there is good, a lot of it.

As someone who prides himself in looking on the bright side, I too can have bouts of pessimism. I've found the following tips helpful in keeping focused and grateful when bombarded with waves of gloom.

Admit You're Being Cynical

That's right.

Admit you're viewing the world from a dark grey lens. No matter how positive you may be, there will be days when the world can't do anything right.

It's normal. Don't beat yourself up over it.

When you catch yourself complaining, or getting in bed with negativity, acknowledge it.

"Wow, that thought I just had was pretty negative.."

Then let it pass.

For many, being negative is so natural and embedded in their every day lives, that they quickly forget it doesn't have to be their default state.

I know, because I've been there.

Simply by noticing your thoughts, you'll discover that you have more control over what you think than you give yourself credit for.

Admitting the problem is the first step to fixing it.

Audit Your Network

Every time I find myself in a rut or experiencing long bouts of negativity, I try and reevaluate my network.

Are my friends in real life being negative? Am I following a bunch of pessimists on Twitter? Do my Facebook groups love to complain?

Who you surround yourself with both in real life and online has a profound impact on your daily thoughts and actions.

Simple logic says that if you surround yourself with positive and energetic people, you too will become positive and energetic.

The opposite also holds true, if you surround yourself with people who only look at the ground, you'll soon forget that there is a sun shining bright in the sky.

Most people know this in theory, however, in the real world it can be a little tricky understanding the dynamics of your network.

If you find yourself being negative, start to take notice of your social circles. When are you most negative?

I'm not suggesting you ditch all your friends. Instead, begin to notice who brings you up, and who brings you down. Can you shift your time and resources to better service your needs?

Your network is yours to build or tear down. Make sure you're surrounding yourself with the love and support you need to get the most out of your gifts and talents.

Guard the castle with everything you have, one or two intruders can bring the walls tumbling down.

Check Your News Channels

The majority of news is negative. Yet, hour after hour we find ourselves clinging to the latest breaking headlines.

North Korea has nukes. A child was murdered in the inner cities. Wars blaze across the world.

It's no wonder many of us find ourselves depressed. I'll be the first to admit, I do like to keep up with the latest trends on what's going on in the world.

That being said, there are a few things you can to do keep negativity to the minimum.

Limit checking the main news networks. CNN, Fox, NBC, will do anything to keep your interest, so they fuel with fire with doom and gloom.

I recently saw a clip of Anderson Cooper the other day and literally every single one of the five stories on his broadcast was negative. No thanks.

Instead, look to stay updated through a variety of different means. These days, I get a lot of news from Twitter, and if it's something that I'm interested in I'll then do a quick google search. Steemit has a lot been a lot of fun.

Sometimes I'll use subreddits on Reddit to keep me informed on issues I'm interested in.

There are an abundance of resources out there to keep you informed, while keeping you sane as well.

Are your news networks adding value? Or simply adding more drama to your life?

Practice Gratitude

Perhaps the greatest thing you can do to leave the world of cynicism is incorporate gratitude in your daily routine.

I like to write 3-5 things I'm grateful for each day before I go to bed. Despite being surprisingly simple, this little trick has significantly helped me be more positive.

Knowing I have to write 3-5 items down, causes me to search for the good in my day. Will you still occasionally have negative thoughts? Of course. But don't underestimate the power of training your brain to look through the lens of positivity.

Regardless of your current situation, there is an abundance of things going right for you. It may be easy to focus on what's wrong or the things you lack, but doing so won't get you any closer to your goals.

Instead of being envious of your friends on Facebook, or your friend with her dream job, focus on what's going right for you.


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Not so simple!

Why it pays to be grumpy and bad-tempered:

Being bad-tempered and pessimistic helps you to earn more, live longer and enjoy a healthier marriage. It’s almost enough to put a smile on the dourest of faces.

Super interesting. Jumping on a bus now, but pocketed the article to read for later.

There's more than one way to the top eh? :)

Thanks for the comment.

me being cynical: you might as well just jump in front of it instead. jk, actually i thought this was an OK read, but IMO there are far more who have the problem of being irrationally optimistic. A healthy dose (not an overdose) of cynicism is exactly what many people need.

Now excuse me while i attend to this correspondence. A deposed Nigerian prince needs my help getting money out o f his country.

LOL .... I am sure I was helping him first... or was that the deposed Military Leader??

Appreciate the comment. And yes, perhaps that will be another article for another day.

No need to be pessimistic! We're living in one of the most peaceful times in history. We have the collective knowledge base of all humans at our fingertips. Prestigious colleges put their coursework online for free. We can travel anywhere in the world in 24 hours and communicate with anyone instantly. Things are pretty great.

Take a walk through the Democratic Republic of the Congo and repost that... lol

HELLS YES !!! +1

The word 'cynic' actually came from a greek philosopher "Diogenes of Sinope" its greek meaning is "like a dog" or "dog-like" you can see here in this art picture of Diogenes he used to live like a dog too. He is also my favourite philosopher of all time.
postimage

Oooh this is interesting @jaycobbell I never knew this...going to look this guy up.

And the great plato said to diogenes "if you pay courts to kings you wont have to wash potatoes" and diogenes replied "if you wash potatoes you have to pay courts to kings"

He was an interesting guy indeed.

From living a simplistic life or being happy with less ?(or something like that ?)I believe ... good call !
Edit; yep, I thought I knew of that, from a sub school of Socrates ...

http://www.iep.utm.edu/cynics/

If Antisthenes was not the first Cynic by name, then the origin of the appellation falls to Diogenes of Sinope, an individual well known for dog-like behavior. As such, the term may have begun as an insult referring to Diogenes’ style of life, especially his proclivity to perform all of his activities in public. Shamelessness, which allowed Diogenes to use any space for any purpose, was primary in the invention of “Diogenes the Dog.”

Sorry, but as Ayn Rand said, "We can evade reality, but we cannot evade the consequences of evading reality."

Prepare accordingly.

Agree with this :-)

wow nice call !, btw, also one of my fave quotes ! +1

Well done! When we were at exo your were probably one of the most positive people there. Having a positive mindset is huge as whatever you mind focus's on you tend to attract. Also one can fall into habit of actually seeking out bad news. I watch videos like this when I work. I guarantee you will feel better feeding your mind with beauty rather than fear.

:) means so much to me luke

Hey @aboundlessworld, thank you for a nice post. Some people really need to read this and keep their attitude more sunny :) You deserve an Upvote

!00% right on! The dark luciferians want us to be unhappy because if we are we will only create more of the same - so! the response is to TRUST Natural Law, practice it, know all the bs that's going on, and PRESS ON - with a smile! Be kind - practice the Golden Rule - none of us gets outa here alive!

Lots of insight and wisdom in this post. I have been working on some of these myself, like practicing gratitude and surrounding myself with people that are also working on better themselves. Those two alone have had a huge impact on my life. Thanks for sharing, this was helpful.

Holy Shit this is right out of my own handbook. I wrote a blog similar to it once, a while back. I was even on my way to writing my own Steemit post which touches on this.

If/When I do, I'll refer you to it, and you'll see how much my own thoughts on the matter freakishly mirror your own. :) Thanks, man! The world needs this kind of thinking.

WHEN you do. Link me! ;)

I find that the older I get, the more cycnical I become. Not that I'm a cynic or not that I want to be cynical. For me a positive mindset will always win out over cynicism. A 'Can-Do' attitude will always wi out over a 'Cant-Do' attitude, if only just for the predispositions alone. I am becoming more cynical though and to be honest, this depresses me. OK. I do have a tough situation at the moment. My mother has Alzheimer's and I'm looking after her. Sometimes I feel like I'm going round and round in circles with her, and going backwards, not forwards. She broke her hip recently too, so the last 3 months have been tough, for both of us, but thankfully, she's mobile again, and doing very well.
I don't like the cynicism that is creeping in. I'm fighting it, but it's a tough battle...............Stay strong !

@aboundlessworld Good article man ! However, I would have to say that in my opinion that being critical is a form of critical thinking, not just rubber stamping ok to everything. Having said that, being cynical or having a negative attitude is something altogether different. Actually, having malicious intent while being critical is what I believe is bad. This is based on a pragmatic/realist and of course from a professionalism point of view, not just being negative in general ... So I do agree with your premise ! +1 & Followed !

Good point. We do associate cynicism with negativity, although I think that's because a lot of negativity comes from cynical people. I think that being cynical with malicious intent is a third thing to which proactive malintent applies.
'Rubber stamping everything as OK' (nice phrase) is of course not optimistic, but extremely foolish. However, I believe that some people are ensnared by cynicism and are victims of their own outlook.

I find that the older I get, the more cycnical I become

I would imagine (I could be wrong) that the older you get , ACTUALLY you are becoming more critical .. and because you catch yourself being MORE critical you are negatively judging yourself as being more cynical. In a stressful situation wouldn't being more critical be really easy to call cynical ?
It kind of reminds me of what I discovered several years ago .. I grew up doing electrical, electronic and then computer work, so I always had a personal obligation to do "best work" (imo) because of this, regardless of what I was doing "best work" ethic was still ingrained and people would say I was a Perfectionist. After many years of this I was troubled by the negative connotation of the word perfectionist. So changed this designation to being a Precisionist, (Which is really what I am) and started correcting people by saying "I am a Precisionist, NOT a perfectionist", to get away from the negative connotation.
perhaps you should try this in your life .. Say you are older and wiser and have a sharper eye for detail, therefore you are more critical so as not make mistakes, which is NOT a negative connotation as is Cynical !
Just sayin ... hope that helps ! Us old folks need to stick together !, lol

Thanks for caring my friend. I take your point and it's one way of looking at it, although I wish you'd defined what you mean by precisionist rather than perfectionist.
No, I always like to be moving forward, and at the moment, that is not the case, so I am becoming cynical. In my defense, and on reflection, my cynicism could be directly caused by my recent circumstances, but I think it's probably due to growing older, and not achieving the goals I've set myself. I'm not giving up, by any means, but things are taking too long, and with the present situation, I can't see things speeding up.

Well, basically a perfectionist is someone that nit pics everything, never good enough.
that is the modern term anyway, what I meant by having a negative connotation.
A Precisionist is: when a machine makes parts and the allowed tolerances are + or - .005 of an inch. That means a part say, 1 inch in diameter can be from .955 to 1.005. So a Precisionist works on the machine and makes it make parts better (More Precise) than what it was doing. My work makes parts that are only + or - .002 in. so new part are better ! parts are now .999 - 1.001 inch, better parts, cause homi don't PLAY !

Good post and glad to see you have success with it. I am now following you. I also create a lot of content on dealing with depression and cutting unhelpful people/things out of your life.

Though I will admit that it is hard for me to cut off a few remaining friends that are ALWAYS negative and I know it gets to me. >_<

Anywho, I am definitely in a cynical rut and you gave me a reminder that it's in my power to dig myself out of it, so thanks! :)

Important things you are writing about here. The attitude we choose towards life has big consequences. Cynicism is often a way of limiting yourself and your scope of options. Sometimes it is an "out" from taking responsibility for your life. however as you mentioned we know live in a world with more possibilities than ever before. I think Peter Diamandis said it very well ( paraphrasing ) : "this is the time when we should stop complaining about problems and begin solving them".

Love that quote!!

naw Bro, that was John Lennon, "There are no problems, only solutions" !!! lol +1

Yes many people have said that in different ways an I hope they will continue :)

Quit seeing the world as separate and your perception will align properly!

I like that ! Pretty much like: "Remember Neo, there is NO spoon"

Good article and good topic. My southern bell mother calls me at least once or twice a week and says "don't let the turkeys get you down son because they are out there gobblin'".

Enjoyed the article! Another must follow author.

My votes don't count for much (yet). comments and followers are always good.

This means so much to me! Your votes do count to me!

I agree. This is one of the reasons why I have changed my newsfeed and went on to steemit. I hope to keep reading positive and enlightening comments and will make an effort to be more constructive in my comments too.

Well written article. I have to admit I am a bit of a cynic...but I am not a negative person...in fact quite the opposite...I just see the world for what it is.

I remember a post from somebody here (I just forgot his name sorry). In his post he said that, Begin your day by telling yourself that today i will be facing interference, ingratitude, insolence, disloyalty, ill-will and selfishness. Its an acceptance that we are not in control of the world and on the people around us. We maybe a boss at work but we can't deny that there people who won't like us for some reason.

This was a good read. So good in fact, I followed you.

Great points! A lot of times cynicism is based on misinformation. I cover this topic in regards to the economy and the recent cry from fear-mongers to buy gold..

north korea has nukes...so do we. so does iran, israel etc...yet we are scared of north koreans even tho we are the only nation to nuke humans. and fox news isnt as bad you think. and yes anderson cooper and everyone at cnn/msnbc are incredibly negative. tv rots your soul.

Oh gawd, good words bro, followed. I am consistently checking my followship. I t makes a world of difference. Welcome to my reality :)

THANKS!!!

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