So have you ever had one of those moments you seem to leave your body and it continues to do its thing just as you were and if you dont get freaked out you can watch yourself and you just continue. You swat the fly that lands on your arm, you perk your head up from your phone go to the kitchen grab a bag of ice, grab your drink of choice poor the drink and discard your waste in its appropriate location and find your favorite spot and settle in.
During this moment in time you are moving about without you being the controller of you. When i was younger i had this happen to me from time to time but i dont know if its like a safety but if you freak out you quickly fall back to your body. Over time i seemed to learn how to control myself and chill because its weird to be outside of your body seeing it being you just in like auto pilot. I have been doing it more often lately. Its quite the ring in my ears is on mute i totally wish i could write up there. Its been really bad of late some say if you turn the phones tvs wifi etc. off there is relief but my son and i walk where there is nothing but the railroad tracks we just walked for 5 miles and its as if i notice it more. I have learned to change what i am doing and it fades back to the background but never truly seems to leave.
Anyways the last thing i was doing in my body was reading this article http://www.robertlanzabiocentrism.com/what-is-it-like-after-you-die/ and i am reading but i feel myself start to feel the tingle and i feel myself lift off my body kinda like when someone lifts a shirt off of your shoulders kinda like that but just up. The last thing i remember reading and i am just parapraseing here but. In the grand relm of things we dont really die for reasons that are to complex to comprehend. My last thought as i was lifting was " What its to much for my little American Sheep brain to grasp? Wait! No not yet i wanna finish reading that! Damnit!!!
In that moment in a flash it hit me like a freight train in the soul and just like that the pain the fury in a instant the pressure in my chest the confusion in my head as my heart starts to tug at me as if telling me to follow along. I start to have a mini meltdown telling myself it took me the second half of 2017 to comes to grips with the tricks our minds play on us when or to even not feel like a visitor in my own skin. Why is this happening. I cant stand the empty i feel or the fact i cant even put a smiple thought together. Then all of a sudden its almost as if someone grabbed me by the ankles and ripped me back to above myself and it takes me off guard that as freaked out as i felt i hadnt left auto pilot. ( If i get enough positive feedback i will tell what happen mid 2017 that to tink about it still shakes me to the core if not im not gonna tell it just for some asshole to tell me im full of shit here in 6 months.)
So my thoughts are jumbled i ask myself " What is going on have i lost my mind" then i feel what i can only describe as if someone dumped a warm bucket of water over me but instead of being wet all the feelings and what not seemed to be washed away. Just like that it was gone i just let go and it all left expect the pulling at my heart.
Its not like like it hurts its like trying to lead me but every way i go it pulls the opposite
A little background i was raised in a majority Roman Catholic town to your standard Non church attending KJV Christians. So i am aware of jesus and he died for our sins and healed the sick among other things. Im not saying it was or wasn't but i lean towards a creator or something of the sort because it feels as if all the pointless stuff was wiped away.
Now i feel as if all i can think about or focus on is almost a set of bullet points. What is this place? Why am i here? Death is not the point! I'm more powerful then I believe! Truth requires open Minds and Love requires open Hearts.
We were put here for a reason. What reason? I dont know 