@raymondspeaks, you may rely on philosophy to diminish and soften some of the hardship. Check this out:
https://steemit.com/philosophy/@aeneas-blog/philosophy-should-i-kill-myself-find-out-the-answer
Maybe it will inspire you.
RE: My journey into lifelong learning - an excerpt from my new book
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My journey into lifelong learning - an excerpt from my new book