FEELING ALONE IS NOT GOOD
Loneliness can occupy all the space around us if we surrender to it.
SOLITUDE ALSO CHOOSES
We can experience loneliness many times in our lives and always understand it as the consequence of an alien situation, which comes as a curse to anchor us to pain. But in reality it is the opposite, loneliness can be liberating.
Loneliness is not alien to our decision to feel or be alone but justly, loneliness is a choice we make without being fully aware of it.
But how can someone "choose" to be alone when such an election will lead to suffering? Who suffer from "loneliness" perhaps we have a masochistic and self-pitying spirit that leads us to misery only to confirm that we are predestined to be unhappy?
THE LONELINESS AS A STATE OF THE SOUL
The answer to the above is "no". No one is predestined or fatally cursed with the karma of pain because of loneliness.
This is because talking about loneliness is talking about how we choose to feel like facing life when we are not able to see anyone around us.
Feeling alone is suffering the experience of a void around us that isolates us. And as an abyss surrounds us, it is impossible to notice the other who is at our side. Such emptiness is nothing other than a paradigm: the paradigm of emptiness, paradigm of the desert island.
Getting stuck in a paradigm is not the same as "being alone."
When you feel alone you have to know how to open your eyes to this. That's why we say that loneliness is more like a state of the soul: nobody can ever be alone at all. Even in a hypothetical limit situation where there is no longer anyone in our lives, we will always at least have ourselves to remind ourselves that we can move forward, that we must not fall into the abyss of the vacuum paradigm.
DEPEND ON OTHERS
Loneliness is a paradigm, it is a "state of the soul". We are "alone" because we carry an inner emptiness, a void of something (or someone) that accompanies us to remind us that we are valuable. Loneliness is the emptiness of a company that sustains us or that is the bridge that binds us to the good that is in ourselves. But nothing can be a bridge when a paradigm shows us surrounded by abyss.
This emptiness is the result of a dependence on the approval of another, this dependence is all the stronger the smaller our self-respect and self-approval, the smaller our self-love. Without self-love, without dignity it is easier to fall into solitude.
But at the same time a paradox occurs: loneliness as a state of the soul is just a symptom of self-love. But of a mismatched self-love. A love focused on the self.
FORMS OF OWN LOVE
Self-respect is fundamental to get rid of loneliness and self-pity that is useless. The degenerate form of self-respect is a form of false love focused on the self: we speak of selfishness. Selfishness transforms us into easy victims of loneliness.
The egoist loves himself more than anything, so he can not look beyond the emptiness he feels, because he is focused on his own pain, on his circumstantial suffering.
If we pay attention, we will see that loneliness is a black bandage in the eyes of the soul, a bandage that prevents us from seeing that there are others who need our company.
NATURE OF SOLITUDE
Loneliness reflects an illusory vacuum because in truth, we are free to choose what to fill it with. Loneliness is a choice.
We believe that "we are" alone, but we are not: only "we feel" alone. In addition, loneliness can sit next to us, in that empty chair, to remind us of the good times and dream of what we have left to live.
Loneliness ages. When loneliness sets in, the years become unusually heavy, because it has the macabre ability to eternalize every second: that is why we feel those thousand years of loneliness as an endless fall in a dead abyss that "sickens" us.
THE SOLITUDE EXCEEDED
Loneliness ages us and suffocates, but only if we allow it. Loneliness has a bad press, because in reality it is usually a great counselor. It can enrich us, it can mature us, and many times it was necessary.
We notice it and we understand it after a thousand years and when it is gone, if we even miss it from time to time. It's just about looking up and looking around. We will have to know how to distinguish when we have become a state of the soul, of a soul trapped in a paradigm.
Loneliness can be liberating when, just caught in the trap of its abyss, we remember that we are called to a mission, to rediscover the beauty of life around us. Going away to observe the world from introspection, being able to find ourselves can also be an enriching practice. It's just about changing the look to get rid of what binds us to our paradigms to understand that in a world full of people who need us we will never be alone.
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