The fear of living new experiences

in life •  7 years ago 

Life is what happens in front of us as we make decisions, we live experiences, we meet new friends, new loves, new challenges and disappointments.

Throughout our lives we live or live experiences that will make us mature and grow, in my case the death of my grandfather when I was just 12 years old marked a before and after in my way of seeing life.

My grandfather was my only father figure, the head of the household since his word was law, every day he helped with purchases to carry the bags and of course learning from all the stories and experiences that a person of 70 had to tell , my grandfather was very demanding with me I always felt that of the 4 grandchildren I was the most pressured, "always remember that women will never lack respect, no matter what the situation" insistent with their words and not very affective, of a rude and cold character, one of the phrases that I remember the most was "life is difficult but never stop fighting, no matter how difficult it is always loses the one who surrenders" words that for me did not charge until the 25th August 2008

The day seemed normal, my mom prepared breakfast before going to work we ate together with my grandfather and my grandmother I remember perfectly that day of 9 years ago, mom before leaving she hugs my grandfather and I heard him say "I'm proud of you my children remember that they must be stronger than the life '' affective words of a person who almost never used to be affective, even my skin bristles when I remember it ...

After lunch I went to my room to watch TV, my grandfather never used to be in the house, he always went for a walk, bought food, and what to do despite his age was someone who could not stand being locked in the house.

At 9am, my desperate mom calls my aunt. I could not talk to her. I only remember my aunt letting go of the phone and with a desolate voice and without force whispering "my dad died" crying screams and despair throughout the house, Arriving at the hospital they explained the heartbreaking details, 2 shots that even after 9 years we will never understand why, the police told us that in an attempt to rob my grandfather I try to face the criminals the memory is still alive ...

Fear, that we feel the unknown and live a new experience, tragedy, pains, disappointments of a death deeply felt in our hearts, how to face a life without my father figure? my counselor my guide the person who solved my problems, the panic of a 12 year old boy facing life.

His words made sense "life is difficult but never stop fighting, no matter how difficult it is always loses the one who surrenders" In those days everything seemed lost ... we sought explanations and we did not understand why, despite the fact that how dark and tenacious that experience our family is more united than ever.

Maybe not all of us live the same experiences, but we are all a little frightened to live new experiences, the fear of failing or facing new things is always present, but the only way we have to improve our lives is to continue fighting and facing the difficulties , the biggest lesson of life that my grandfather could teach me was to fight when everything became difficult, what could be more difficult than being without your grandfather? We must always continue to fight against new experiences and new difficulties.

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