How to Help the Most Difficult People in Your Life

In 2010, I volunteered to be a classroom facilitator with Success for Kids, an organization with a history of helping "problem" children turn their lives around.

Before letting me in a classroom, an SFK director taught me something that helped me not only with the kids at Carol City Elementary, but with people of all ages.

Here is what I learned.

How to deal with challenging kids (and adults):

There are four main categories below. Notice how the challenging person is making you feel, and then recognize what there real issue is - and how you can help them.

-1- Undue Attention

Is the issue of someone that makes you feel

Worried
Exhausted
Irritated
Annoyed
Sorry For

Imagine them wearing a t-shirt saying

“Involve me!”

You should

Re-enforce positive
Ignore Negative

-2- Misguided Power

Is the issue of someone that makes you feel

Angry
Challenged
Defeated

Imagine them wearing a t-shirt saying

“Let me help.”
“Give me choices.”

You should

Offer choices/opportunities

-3- Revenge

Is the issue of someone that makes you feel

Hurt
Disgusted
Disbelieving

Imagine them wearing a t-shirt saying

“Help me.”
“I’m hurting.”

You should

Ask what he/she needs.
Ask “How are you feeling?”
Tell them how you feel.

-4- Assumed inadequacy

Is the issue of someone that makes you feel

Despairing
Hopeless

Imagine them wearing a t-shirt saying

“Believe in me.”
“Don’t give up on me.”

You should

Tell them “You can do it!”
Cheerlead!

Don’t believe me, try it out for yourself. This really works, and can help you turn the most difficult situations into amazing success stories. Another tip worth mentioning: this also applies to you.

When you feel any of these emotions about yourself, check yourself. This can be a challenging process, but stick with it, it’s worth it!