Does it work when a mum tries to get her 15 year old to see her point of view?

The reason Cathy is resorting to look at my point of view, at how I feel is that nothing else seems to working for her at this stage. She is trying to keep her daughter in at night, Milly her 15 year old is sneaking out at all hours of the night to go partying with the bad group of friends. Cathy said that she calls them that because once upon a stage when Milly started high school she was friends with the good kids, the in crowd and all of a sudden in the last six months of last year she joined the party crowd.

It has been a nightmare, says tired Cathy and it never stops. Milly did not used to be like this, she just changed from a responsible easy going daughter. Even sustaining a broken wrist has not deterred Milly from her delinquent behaviours. She fell into an entertainment centre after too much drinking.

To help Milly re-engage in school Cathy has enrolled her into a new school this year called St Andrews. Milly is bright student and has been given a half scholarship. She stopped working at the local State High School. So far Milly is really liking her teachers and is applying herself to her studies. However, Milly's social partying ways has not changed, her friends go to both schools.

Cathy takes away her smartphone and disconnects the internet at night for long periods of time so she cannot contact the friends at night. But she has found Milly with a phone on loan from her friends. Cathy has resorted to reasoning with Milly, "I am your parent, it is my job to keep you safe, see it from my point of view, I would not be doing my job if you were hurt!" Milly then promises her mother that she will stay at home all night but she does not mean it. While Cathy sleeps Milly sneaks.

Last weekend she and a friend snuck out at 11am and caught a taxi down the road? The taxi driver dropped two 15 year olds off at the beach near the National Forrest without a second thought. It looks like he only wanted a fare. The mother drove around until she found them.

Cathy is not giving up, she has another three years to keep Milly safe. Tough love is the only approach that Cathy can use. She is aware that because Milly is an only child she has become her friend and buddy as well as her daughter. Milly acts as an adult as well as a self-centred teenager. So trying to reason with her and getting her to see her mother's perspective does not work. Breaking the rules is part of her teenager game. It is too late to reverse this learning now.



Blessings

Cheers - thank you for reading and for your support