Frankenbike

Dear reader,

I’ve made a terrible mistake. Most likely my biggest money blunder to date.

In my last post, I mentioned that my truck is having problems. It still runs, but is misfiring in half its cylinders and my timing chains are experiencing issues. The fuel economy has gone to shit. So I took the money I had been saving up, and bought myself a little motorcycle. Obviously not a Hayabusa, but a bike I still thought I could be proud of.

Well guess. Fucking. What.

With any buy as cheap as I got, there will be issues and some work will need to be done. The easy fixes were to clean the carbs (which I did the night after I bought the bike), replace the front turn signals (which I haven’t done yet because I’m lazy and frustrated), and replace the clutch cable (which was easy peasy). However, since I’m doing the repairs myself, I’ve found out what I’ve really gotten myself into. Some of the repairs are much more difficult than I was expecting.

As it turns out, Calypso (my bike) is A LIE. It may look like a 2004 Ninja 500, but it’s really just a “hissy bitch”--in the words of one of the kids I work with. The bike doesn’t even have its original frame. This wouldn’t normally be a problem, but I’m a beginner and I’ve never done all these repairs before. When referencing YouTube videos and forums, like any astute student, I find that my bike’s pieces and arrangement often don’t match that of other Ninja 500s. The same child that insulted my bike, personally titled her a Frankenstein motorcycle.

The bike is also in poor shape, more so than is to be expected for the price I bought it. I took my bike to Ocala, there I found the nearest place (50 mi) that works on sportsbikes. I was having a brand new rear tire mounted and a member of their team comes out to me, “Your rear brakes are metal to metal.” ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I’m not throwing a tantrum, but, like, fuck, man. I just couldn’t believe it, and requested to see the brake pads. Sure enough, bare brakes with gouges through the metal were brought to me. The dude that sold me the bike told me he had replaced the front and rear brakes… obviously not. I know I should act like a grown up about this, but I’M SALTY and I feel like being mad for a few more weeks.

During that visit to the bike shop, the woman also clued me in to how bad my wheel bearings were on the front. This turned out to be an entirely new can of worms. I ordered the two bearings and seals, and so waited for their arrival. When they finally came, my boyfriend helped me take the front tire off. The repair was never finished because one of the wheel bearings fell apart when I pulled the axle out, that’s just how awful the bearing was. The right side bearing, by the rotor, came out fine. We used a bar and hammered it out from the other side. When it came time for the left side, we tried everything but could not get the outer ring of the bearing out of the barrel. We tried hammering, we even tried a dremmel. The only thing left was a blowtorch, but if we heated it that much, I was doubtful that the barrel would return to it’s proper shape.

At this point, I have purchased a new front tire with the rim and rotor for my bike. I found one online for $75. What’s left is to wait for the part to arrive on December 4th, and then install it. I have patience, but I don’t know if I have enough patience for this bike.

Sorry if I was incorrect in anything I named on the bike or with any spelling… I’m still learning. I’ve had my endorsement for less than two weeks and have had my motorcycle for less than four. I’ll be sure to keep you filled in on whatever else happens with my Frankenbike.

Sincerely,

Jay