What is the best gift to give someone who is hurting? Why would anyone want to give someone who is hurting anything, especially if they can't even help themselves? Why would someone want to give a friend or loved one hurtful things to hurt them even more? The reasons are as varied as the people who receive these gifts. Some will give to those who are hurting because they have nothing to say; some because of guilt; others because of a belief that it is a good thing to hurt. There are many reasons why we allow pain to penetrate our relationships, and for whatever reason we do, we are all responsible for it.
Pain is hard to recognize and deal with at times. Many people don't have the ability to be self aware at certain times. This also makes them easy to give to, since they believe they will understand and not feel the pain when giving a gift. When we get angry or sad over something, it can take us a long time to really process what we are feeling, which causes us to delay saying or doing the right thing.
The value of one day living with no pain is hard to realize, but it is possible. It can be done. You must ask yourself, "What are the things I'm allowing? Am I allowing myself to be angry, sad, or hurtful? Am I allowing myself to be vulnerable?" If you are not learning how to manage your emotions, then you won't be able to say "no."
If you want to continue to be a success, you must first learn how to control yourself. Once you become skilled at controlling your thoughts and your actions, you can then begin to figure out why do bad things happen to good people. We all have had experiences that were hurtful. What you must find out is why you allowed them to happen.
If you have allowed yourself to be hurt by someone, even if you did nothing wrong, you might as well be the person who throws the bucket over the person who was hurt. Pain is quite right for you; however, it does not always let us know that we are doing something wrong. In some cases, we only realize later what we did wrong. For some people, however, the pain sometimes lets them know that they are doing quite right in treating another person in a hurtful way.
Letting yourself feel the pain of another, even if you only do something out of niceness, does not make you a good person. In addition, if you feel too much pain, you may not go right with the action, as opposed to when you do something out of niceness only. For instance, if you are hurting someone so that you can get some cookies that are going to hurt them, and you do not let yourself feel any pain, you are not serving your fellow man very well. People may grieve more if they have had the opportunity to do something nice for somebody else, than if they had done something nasty. In this case, kindness would have been better than pain.
It is important to remember this when you read passages like this, or other passages like these. You have to understand that people make choices, even if those choices do not always make the most intelligent or correct choice. If a young man, in this passage, makes the decision to go along with his girlfriend to a super bowl game, he is making a choice. He is choosing to go along with this activity, despite his discomfort, which is caused by a sports injury. He is not choosing to sit out the game, even if he feels badly about missing it, because he wants to be with his girlfriend. In this case, letting the pain of his injury keep him from participating would be wrong, and again, something that young people are not doing very well in this day and age.
We've learned a lot about pain and all of the ways in which we use it, and we've also learned a lot about the things that people, and especially young people, should not do. This is why, for me, I am glad that I did not listen to the advice of my father when I was a child. He would have had no problem with letting me miss a game if I so chose, and he would not have had any problem with my girlfriend getting hurt if she didn't want to play the game, or going to a different one if she did not want to play. However, he did not learn anything I didn't already know. I now realize that letting a young woman to play a sport is not really fair to her if she is not going to enjoy it, and that is something I learned very quickly as a result of reading the helpful advice in "The Female Man" and "The Long Walk Around the Lake."