;)
I'm guilty. I admit it.
I'm guilty of settling for "good enough." I get lazy sometimes, or fall into a routine and just settle. I know the situation or relationship is not ideal, and I realize I am not perfectly happy. But, I'm guilty of settling.
I look back and wonder about the uncertain uncertainties I exchanged for the definite meh.
When I realized this, I decided I cannot do this anymore! I deserve the best!
This is the only life I know I'm gonna have. Why on earth would I want to settle for second best or good enough?
We settle for mediocrity in many areas of our lives on a daily basis. We keep going to jobs we abhor to deal with bosses we cant't stand, we let our other halves get away with crap we know we don't deserve, and we keep enabling friends and acquaintances to disappoint us.
Why do we choose to let this slide, day after day, when we know there is better out there for us?
We have a habit of comparing outcomes from different courses of action, and basically treating our lives as a cost vs benefit analysis. It's behind almost all decisions we will ever make. Far too often we decide that we shouldn't move toward uncertain and possibly better opportunities because the benefits don't outweigh the costs.
But this is deceiving! How can we know the benefits unless we move!
We are frightened of change. But we cannot let fear control our lives. If we do, we are just drifting along the waves, letting them take us to Maine when we really want to go to the Carribbean.
NO! When you settle, you are not moving! You are allowing yourself to be pushed.
Don't let them push you around! Be in control of your life! # neversettle!
Don't downgrade your dreams to match your reality. Upgrade your belief to match your vision.
Never settle for second best. It's the same as settling for First Worst.
You deserve the best. You were the chosen sperm after all ;)
❤
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With Love and Light and Good Mojo to my Tribe!
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I read this entire post, and then found myself going through all the fine comments and replies. Truly a great thread.
I'd like to add the consideration that while we should never settle for second-best, that does not necessarily mean that we always have to be working, striving, struggling, and looking out for number one.
In certain instances, we might be in a situation that is far from ideal, and which we should put behind us. Sometimes, however, that takes time and patience. In such cases, to struggle against our circumstances might actually be counterproductive.
In such cases, we should accept the situation as is, while realizing that it is far from ideal and while doing whatever we can to bypass, surpass, and transcend it. Eventually, we will most likely find that the circumstances and our situation is changing.
All because we did not settle for second best. We saw a better future, focused on that goal, and turned toward that path. Without rushing toward our destination, without timing our journey, and without making excessive effort, we arrived there. Or, arrived HERE.
Onwards, and Full Steem Ahead, to your next destination!
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In such cases, we should accept the situation as is, while realizing that it is far from ideal and while doing whatever we can to bypass, surpass, and transcend it. Yes. And this, because you are taking action, is not settling.
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Exactly.
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It's an interesting statement, never settle, one that we hear time and time again.
It always sounds good but, for me, I've found that in most cases it isn't practical. After all, we are settling for a reason, it's a weighted decision that seems to always come back to the fact that we do not know the future and thus must take it into account. It's probably different for everyone, but for me at least, it always comes back to this.
If we all knew exactly when we were going to die I'd bet the world would look very different because everyone's choices would be different.But we don't. I think we all want to live lives where we never settle, but the fact of the matter is that the decisions we make are made from a position where the future is uncertain and we may have to live in that future.
I know I'm sacrificing a lot in life right now in hopes that it's going to pay off in the future. If I found out tomorrow that I was going to be dead in 3 months, my life would change real quick. So, while I love the idea, I've found that I do sometimes have to settle. Not because I want to or because I'm afraid to live, but because I'm working towards a time when I hopefully won't have to.
It could just be my hangup though :)
By the way, binkyprod had some beautiful things to say about you in my "Share the Love" post, you might enjoy.
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See, from my point of view, you are not settling. You have a goal and you are not settling for less than working toward your goal.
Oh, wow, ok, I have to go check this out! Thanks!
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When you put it that way it definitely sounds better :)
I think that it's more about how it feels. Which makes me think that maybe I need to better define the distinction of sacrifice and settling.
Seems that settling is more entwined with letting go of a dream where sacrificing is more in line with the pursuit of it.
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You make a good point. It's all about perspective.
In my reality, settling is just settling in where you are at right now, even knowing there is something better. Kinda like not getting up from the couch to answer the door. It may be Publishers Clearing House, or it could be a neighbor wanting to borrow your truck for moving. You are too comfortable on the couch and too lazy to get up and do a tiny bit of work to walk to the door.
Sacrificing is giving up something for something better. You are working toward something- not growing fat on the couch ;)
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What you're saying resonates completely, it's the quotes like the one from Steve Jobs above that get me.
For me, the answer most days is no. Which the quote would then imply that I'm settling and not living the life I should be. To which I can say, no Steve you don't understand, I'm sacrificing so that I can get to a life where that's possible. Then I'm back to the cycle I mentioned above where settling seems to occur because of the need to balance living in the present and trying to create a life that you can enjoy in the future.
But I'm still having to give up living today in a way that I truly want to. Which then begs the question, can life be lived everyday without settling while still accounting for the fact that we have to take care of our future selves?
It's definitely a great topic that's easy to go back and forth on.
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Yes, that it is!
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Second best sperm is NOT a bad outcome. There were millions in the competition.
The number one dude was excessively Type A and had a heart attack. Dead as a door knob now.
Number two and living is much better. Not settling for second. Targeting the position where reward vs cost is at a better tradeoff point.
Your days of chasing kitty are over if you were the number one sperm, and you died from a heart attack.
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@davebrewer,
Hahaha! Nice comment, dude.
Salutations. I am JaiChai. Very pleased to make your acquaintance.
Sometimes choosing to be #2 is wise, indeed.
Appointed officials vice elected officials tend to have both longevity and ever-increasing influence.
What was that saying?
I'm #2. And I am happy.
#3 is neurotic and #1 is an arrogant, temporary son of a bitch!
Lol!
Upvoted your comment and following you now.
Namaste (I recognize the divine in you, my friend),
JaiChai
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Yesterday i was stating in a similar post so i am gonna say that very thing here as well..
Dont fall for fear. Never settle. I quit my dream of becoming a motivational speaker and instead became an aerospace engineer which had job security and what not.. not a day goes by that i don't regret that decision..
I am currently living someone else's life. I am not living mine. Cause i gave mine up when i decided to settle with my fears.
Good post.
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You can still live your own life! It may take some sacrificing but you only have one life! It is worth it! Your happiness is worth far more than a paycheck, plus- think of how many live you could change!
You can always start speaking on the side. Start small. Set up for one hour on a Saturday in January. Get your presentation practiced well. Secure a venue- do it for free even just for visibility.
Tape yourself. Leave comment cards and ask your audience for feedback. Refine your presentation.
Do another one in March.
More feedback, more refining.
Write a book. Offer it for sale at your next speaking engagement.
Repeat.
See where I'm going here?
Could be life changing my friend ;)
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Very true.. thats the same reason i joined steemit. Now i know that steemit is not the best platform for a motivational speaker. But i am currently relocating and once i set up my own place (that will be with in a month), i will start regular dtube videos.. then move to youtube.. may be i can get some recognition and move on to speak infront of live audience..
i will always cherish your support..
xoxo
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You absolutely have my support and encouragement!
Please send me the link to your videos. I will also share them with my network.
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yayyy.. bless you.. i will
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I love what Steemit is doing for us! Bringing us together to share and collaborate and grow. Allowing us to meet kindreds we otherwise would never have come across. Make true friendships to nurture and enjoy.
I am happy I met you <3
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You have no idea how much valuable was that for me.. it felt really nice that somebody i have never met or seen, has such views about me..
thank you my friend and the feeling is mutual
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<3
You are going to go far, I can sense it :)
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But life is not constant, we keep learning, moving, changing. Don't be the same old person, evolve and let people see the positive difference. we learn a new things we put aside the old.
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Absolutely. Keep bettering ourselves, constantly! We do this by never settling! Always better :)
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Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by ArbitraryKitten from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, theprophet0, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews/crimsonclad, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows and creating a social network. Please find us in the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
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This post has received a 0.18 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @banjo.
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Well done maam @arbitrarykitten
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Much appreciated Bien!
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Keep it up maam! Looking forward to your next post!
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It's like Tonny Robins says "you get what you tolerate", I believe we have to draw the line to teach people how to treat us, for me it would de #DontTreadOnMe
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Right. Clear boundaries.
I love Tony Robbins!
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Hindsight is always 20/20, it is the unknown that keeps us going forward; what if you traveled in the future and discovered you are gonna die the next day ? Your life would be so different !
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Hindsight? Not really... consider those that keep making the same mistake over and over and over...
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It has been repeated many time over...Moss grows not under a rolling Stone! And just think if you would have simply settled (like for third best)!
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Oh no- not third best! Nooooooo...
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Think about this... I have a first cousin, a very attractive woman, who never once thought about settling for second best when it came to finding a mate - husband if you will. She is 60 years old, has never married, and will likely live out the rest of her life as a lonely and unhappy old maid. So be careful what you live for.
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Was it her expectations? Or her personality? Because looks aren't everything...
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Definitely her expectations! She has a fun and outgoing personality... she is still looking for a Tom Seleck looking dude... on steroids!
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Tom Seleck, huh? Lol, Did she ever try for the real one?!
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I'm sure she would have given the chance.
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My mind is very imaginative. It creates little movie snippets for pretty much anything told to me.
You can imagine my mind's creation right now. Her stalking Tom Seleck...Peeking in his windows... LOL
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Great insight , wonderful article , and all around awesome post . Most of us never thinknof settling in that context and it is a wonderful eye opener for many and i do agree 100% that fear of uncertainty leads us to these poor desicions . Thank you for the insightful post , followed and upvoted 😊
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Thanks Steve!
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@arbitrarykitte,
Props to you. Hope you get Steemit Love from this:
https://steemit.com/life/@jaichai/ijch-throwing-the-gauntlet-a-very-brief-challenge-props-to-arbitrarykitten
Namaste, my friend.
JaiChai
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Thank you my dear Jaichai :D
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Sperm can be used for any allegory.
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Yeah... they sortof can, can't they?
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As this post is tagged with #manifestchallenge I'm hereby reporting about my progression of the journey through Kalevala: We continue with our new hero of Lemminkäinen who also didn't settle on his current life... which led him to a war though...
https://steemit.com/mythology/@celestal/kalevala-shortly-12-lemminkaeinen-goes-to-war
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Very cool! I am enjoying this series!
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Off topic, but hey...you do know the egg didn't 'settle' for the second best sperm, right? - it wasn't a choice of 'hers' to make - it was a result of male competition.. just sayin'
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Jeez, can't a girl make a funny around here...
:P
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lol - I know, sorry - I apologize profusely.
I just have it 'on me' at the moment...
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Lol ;)
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