What to write about...

I like the idea of writing every day and putting it on Steemit. I can totally feel how good writing is for me. I think I'm not very good at it though. I don't know.. though... it's the same in conversation; there's a lot of people who just don't seem to understand me. But the ones that do, I feel like I'm really good at getting ideas across to. Just a particular way of thinking that clicks really well with its own kind and not so well with others?

Anyway, I also... like putting stuff out when it's done, I can obsess a lot on if I'm saying something as well as I could. I think it screws me up. Maybe that's why sometimes the best shit I wrote was after procrastinating until the last second? I just wrote and didn't have the time to obsess? So I think the only way I could write on Steemit is unedited. I guess I could get an editor... I don't know what that entails at all... Which isn't an excuse so I'll do it tomorrow.

Even that seems to me like it would take more time and energy than I think I want to put into it. Unless I just let an editor run with it and release it.. Which I don't like either, I want it to be me.

Yeah, unedited. For now at least, who knows.

This is fun, I'm excited. I've been getting pretty on track in a lot of ways and this will be a good one.

There's another thing - knowing that I'm going to publish something fucks with my head. It takes my focus off of thinking about what I should/would be thinking about and changes it to: (imagine this next sentence in a preppy high school girl's voice) "omg, what will people think of me if I say this?!?!". It makes me less attracted to writing and releasing it publicly. I have thought about it a lot though and I think I'm going to just learn it. Learn/train myself to keep my focus on what I'm writing about while I write. Probably good for me anyway. Actually, scratch that. I strongly believe that training myself to focus on anything is strengthening my focus "muscles". Also, that focus is super important to all of life, and that therefore, training myself to focus correctly while writing will be very good for me.

Also, Steemit is awesome! I haven't spent a ton of time on here but so far it just seems awesome. It seems like a lot of the conversations in the chats are much more reasonable and constructive than most social media. Then again, I'm the last person to talk considering how little I've used social media.

So ya, here ya go. I'm gonna type this in tomorrow (that too! I just think better when I write by hand), but it's raw, I'm gonna type it in word for word. And I'm going to try to make it a habit to do this every day.