Glimpses of Faithfulness

There are moments every once in a while when life resembles God, and I think that's what makes life worth living at all. We do all of this, really, so that we can catch glimpses of Him here and there. Every once in a while we stand in awe of some beauty here on Earth and wonder Who it came from....I just had one of those moments.

Today I wanted to call my mom --stressed out about staying at my current job. I knew I couldn't do it anymore and I was so afraid of what she would say. I was so afraid about what society would say about my desire to leave a career when I needed money, with an expensive wedding around the corner, with no plan for the future... But the stress was eating away at me. I was having panic attacks in front of my boss and nightmares waking me in cold sweats. I couldn't sustain the charade anymore. I had to get out of there.

And so when my mom called I was a little bit relieved. I knew I wouldn't have sought her out on my own. I couldn't even bring up the topic on my own, so she naturally asked for a second time, " How is work?" And I broke down into tears, telling her it was too hard, I couldn't do it anymore, and she responded with everything I needed to hear...

She reminded me that I was safe. She was here, and dad was here, my brothers and sister were here. Rish was here. You can come home. You could work here. There was nothing to be afraid of because they were here and there was no way they were going to let me fall.

She reminded me of what was important. That nothing is worth my health and peace. And when someone tries to rob you of those essentials, you need to know it's okay to run the other way.

She reminded me that it would get better. Because there are "hundreds" of jobs out there. That something would turn up. That teaching didn't have to be what I thought it would be. That I could go back to school. That I had options and I would succeed in those options.

And hearing all this felt like God. It felt like my heavenly dad was telling me that he HAD me. That everything is actually going to be okay. That I didn't have to have everything figured out, because He had it figured out, and He would carry me all the way through. I didn't even have to seek Him out. He would find me in my personal tragedy and save me- every single time. Because he had gone before me. He had prepared a way for me.

Sometimes it takes a vulnerable moment at 26 years old for you to remember that your mom's been a faithful reflection of the Heavenly Father's faithfulness for years now.