That Time I Turned Into A Dragon Fox Hybrid (A True Story Of How Crazy I Sometimes Can Get)

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It's actually pretty amazing how fucking crazy I sometimes get.

The level of mad hatter madness is pretty damn high I can tell you!

So this is what happened!

It took a full month to ground down back into my body and life after my 10 day silent retreat, which I celebrated by a weekend of dancing with a full heart in the outside air! Felt so liberating to be back to being myself.

After my crazy little weekend, my body was unusually sore and massively tired! But hey, it was TOTALLY worth it!

So now it's time to work, and my gosh, it was the most hectic day I have EVER had.
Making coffees NON STOP for 8 hours.
Didn't even go to the toilet or sit down for the ENTIRE time!
Which totally wasn't the problem but being a sensitive soul, I pick up a shit ton of energies and when you've spoken to hundreds of people in one day, the boundaries of what is your energy and their energy gets MASSIVELY blurred!

Fast forward to me coming home to my lovely man, and I am being all happily fragile yet SO joyful to see him.
But with a tummy rumbling of hunger which would have made me eat a live squirrel if you had told me to.

Oh did I mention the impending monthly bleed which is causing my womanly hormones to go a little haywire??

And then, the inevitable happens.

A tiny little irritation on his front towards me happens and BAM! I go straight into FULL ON crazy woman modus!
From deep sadness to fiery anger to a little pyscho ( if I say so myself ) to massive distrust towards him! All within a space of 10 minutes.

A woman experiencing all the seasons of feelings in a super short space of time!

And the man, bless his beautiful loving wide open heart, was just looking at me with utter disbelief and total compassion, because it seemed like his woman has just temporarily turned into a dragon fox hybrid.
Thank goodness, I had the fucking sense of self-awareness to take a long breathe and see that maybe I was over exaggerating, just a tad.

I made myself have a warm shower and breathe a little, and guess what?

It all dissipated and I fell back into my love space.
In which I saw that absolutely NOTHING was wrong.

I was back to being myself, just a little frazzled.

When I looked my man in the eyes for the first time after my episode and shower, he had this cheeky smile on his face that was saying ' What was that, you crazy sweet woman of mine?? Have you calmed the fuck down now?'

We laughed together, a little nervous, a little relieved.
I took COMPLETE responsibility for my episode that was OFF the charts on the emotional scale.
I vented my insides to him like verbal vomit.
Had a good cuddle to move us both back into love and we were even better, deeper in love and closer than ever before.

The lesson here is to check in with myself more often, take more breaths and ground into my body before I let these kind of feelings take centre stage of my life show for a while.

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I wrote this a few months ago but I wanted to share this on here because I think it's good to show all of who you are. All parts of ourselves that pop up on our strange twisty journey called life. Including the crazy side!

Have you ever felt like a dragon fox hybrid?
Ever had moments that your emotional craziness went OFF the charts?

BIG love,

Ashley

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