There is only one time in a woman's life when she can truly be free and that is when she is a child. She can play and laugh. I happen to meet a woman at a hospital. Akhtari Begum- a 57 year old widow lost her childhood when she married young to a poor milk seller.
Shortly after the birth of her two children, her husband passed away. Left alone in the slums of a city, Akhtari Begum had no one to turn to. Sad as it may be, there is a great disparity between how people regard single parents who lost their spouses or single parents who experienced a divorce. This disparity frequently manifests itself in society’s attitude towards single mothers in particular. Such was the case for Akhtari Begum as she began to fend for herself and her off springs. After the tragic demise of her husband in an accident, Akhtari was shook by the tragedy that struck her. Driven mad with depression, she admitted to have thought of taking her own life along with her children. She explained, “even though I was the sole earner in our house, I still loved my husband. The absence of a leading male in a society like ours made us an open target to many vultures”. It became increasingly hard for her to manage everything together.
“Everybody has gone through something that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were”, she said.
Everyone has their own definition of success. It is defined by who we are, what we believe in, and what we think it means to be successful. To some it may be money, to others it could be relationships, family, job, religion, or education. For Akhtari Begum, success meant the upbringing of her children. She relentlessly fought through the troubles and barriers in her path while bringing up her kids on her own with dignity.
“I strived to get my children educated as they were my last hope. Today my daughter is happily married, my son is a police officer and we no longer live in the slums”, shared Akhtari. She did multiple jobs while seeking help from the friendly neighbors with babysitting her kids. She attained supreme level of self-reliance and self-sufficiency with the pure strength of the love she had for her children.
Suffering through all that she had, she thought of sharing her experience with other women and young souls in order to prepare or may be even motivate them to make the right choices. She started motivational speaking at schools in her vicinity whenever she could. It made so much of an impact to have an ordinary woman stand up from amongst them to share an experience that eventually she started being paid for the sessions. She has led an exemplary life to be sure, as she was able to inspire people through her empathy, confidence, valor and faith. She shared that every time she stood in front of those women and girls she urged them to stay strong.
“You are not weak, this life is a blessing from God and a chance to steer it where you want. Don’t let your fears control you. Believe in your strength and be patient. Everything runs its own course”.
By Sawera Shaikh