Here's what I learnt recently about the fairer sex. Something you'd think I would have learnt a long time ago,but I guess like most men there are times (yes guilty) when I operate in a vacuum and perhaps am not the most in tune with the emotional needs of my wife. I'm a 'mature' man, and have been with my wife for coming up 27 years, married for 21 of those. My wife is a lovely woman and it is fair to say makes the sun shine every day. I guess like most men I've always viewed my role as breadwinner and provider for our family and before I get clobbered with cries of 'You're a misogynist' - my wife has been happy with our roles.
My title is how men never see things coming, especially with relationships which I'm sure most will agree, we tune out from time to time. Anyway, what surprised me when we started having some difficulties about a year ago was that I was totally blindsided by my wife's unhappiness, and indeed the steps that she had taken to start organising a new life for herself, new friends and a new potential love interest. I'm posting this in the hope that it helps other men recognise that when things go bad in your relationship they tend to go bad in a hurry, and my big learning was - ALL my wifes friends knew about her unhappiness, her plans, and what was going in not just in her life, but in mine. I was stunned. There is more to the story and before I move on, yes we are still together and our relationship is renewed, but not without some counselling, some pretty heavy heart to heart discussions and a review of our desires going forward.
From my male point of view there were things to work on sure, but what really floored me was that I had absolutely no idea the extent that my wifes network were involved in a decision that profoundly impacted my life. Gentlemen - this is something to consider, if your relationship is under duress, then your wife/partner network probably knows before you do, and is an alert that things are about to head south in a hurry. There is more to the story which follows on from this discovery, but I'll leave that for a follow up.