Am I having a mid-life crisis? Fake Friends and Fashion...
Since becoming a housewife (and getting older) I seem to have stopped caring about what other people think of me. I don’t mean in a nasty way, I never go out of my way to hurt someone or disparage them, but I am more comfortable in my own skin and if someone belittles me for how I look or takes advantage of my kindness, I just simply cut them out of my life without a second thought.
A year ago, I had quite a decent sized group of friends that I would have done anything for, and regularly did. After I was injured in a car accident, it became apparent that I was no longer useful to them and they soon disappeared. Were they true friends? I think not! As I look back now, I recall so many times that they actually belittled me in public about the way I dressed or my hairstyle etc and I just took it all without saying a word because I thought they were my friends, and it was only banter, right?
Coincidentally, the other day one of these so called ‘friends’ contacted me the day before my birthday (it has been almost 8 months). Before I opened the text, I thought to myself, maybe I have been too quick to judge them and perhaps they were contacting me to wish me a happy birthday. After opening the text, I realised that no, I had been right all along! She was only contacting me to ask me to do something for her. So selfish...
Friends right now...well that is a tough one. I have woken up to being used, my circle is even smaller than before, I don’t go out socializing as much and I prefer to stay home with my hubby, my son and my dogs. I have a couple (literally a couple) of people that I trust, and that is it!
So... Is it just the friends department that has changed? Nope, also the wardrobe department...
I went shopping with the Hubster for some new clothes the other day as I didn’t have any ‘cold weather’ stuff to wear, but as I trawled the shops, I found that I didn’t like anything that was available in the shops!
Is it that I am unfashionable, getting old or is it that the world has gone crazy and fashion is bonkers? Who knows! Anyway, I decided that I would just buy a new pair of jeans, a couple of warm jumpers and some fluffy socks :) I also bought some PJ bottoms just because they looked like they would be great to lounge about in at night with my new fluffy socks!
I really don’t feel the need to fit in anymore. I just want to feel warm, comfy, safe and loved by the people who matter. I think I am gradually turning into the crazy cat...no wait...crazy dog lady!
(My girl Bella, laughing at my fluffy socks...)
Thank you to Unsplash.com for some of the images and thank you guys for reading, @beautifulbulies xx
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I really don’t feel you need such "friends" in your life.
If you live your life according to what others think or say,
You will not live your life - you live their life.
You're always beautiful (inside and out) Anyone who does not see it - does not deserve it
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I love this answer...
"If you live your life according to what others think or say, You will not live your life - you live their life."
Thank you :)
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Sounds like you fit in perfectly! Fitting into your authentic nature and truth and surrounding yourself with people who are okay with whoever that is. I love seeing people accept themselves where they stand and start to build circles that allow the same. Maybe the fashion world has gone crazy but I kind of like it. want rainbow leggings and blue hair...Sure go for it. Want to just have natural hair and pony tails...sure go for it. Want to wear heels today and sweats tomorrow and be okay with being a girly girl and an outdoor gear head and love makeup and hate feeling made up...YAY. DO YOU! YOU is perfect and beautiful and will fit just right in your life!
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This is absolutely spot on! I wish more people would worry less about what others thing and be themselves. After all the best version of you, is you! :)
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I had that as soon as I hit about 33 don’t care what anyone thinks attitude it’s liberating lol !!!
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lol yep, Its like gaining freedom xD
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I totally agree... I think as we grow older that we no longer have that need to please ourselves.
I never would leave my house without makeup & also dressed nice even if it was only a trip to the store.
Now I put my hair in a ponytail , lip gloss and i even will go in sweats.
Its about comfort,& feeling good!
Upvoted & following
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I just want to feel comfortable and happy :)
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Seems like 70s came back into play. You know, those cut up jeans became pretty popular again
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I'm not quite sure what is back in fashion to be honest, it all looked a bit odd! lol
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:) I was never into fashion. Not even as a teenager. Just wear what I like.
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Don't like to keep myself in any shop for longer period of time. You know, just buy what I want and get out as soon as possible :) But I 've noticed something. As a man who ain't got much weight, it is harder for me to find jeans to fit. Really. I don't know, maybe people are getting fat and that's the trend or something...
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I hate shopping too. I only go when absolutely necessary. I'm not sure what is happening to clothes in today's shops, but I am definitely not in the fashionable category lol
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But you may be in "special" category :) And I thought every woman likes to hear she is something special :) Joking...Don't take that wrong
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hahaha I suspected as much ;)
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I feel the same, I am happy at home with my family, I too found out who were my friends,I removed the negative ones :)
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Sometimes it is the only way :)
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Its for the best as they drain you :)
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This post is upvoted by Polsza for 47 %.
If you want help us growing upvote this comment.
Thanks !
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Can so relate. I've cut a number of 'friends' out of my life and am a lot happier for it. Still have to go socialize now and then but i wouldn't consider them friends by any stretch.
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I guess I aught to make the effort to socialize more often, but I really don't feel the need to. When I am out, all I can think about is getting home to my PJ's and a good book :)
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I know what you mean. It's not that we don't care it is just that as we get older, we just realize the things that are more important for us, or who matters to us most.
And as I get older, I also learn to detect superficial people/friends. We are who we choose to be with I guess.
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Absolutely! I think we learn to value ourselves a little more through life experience :)
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Love yourself, ignore others and and you live happily ever
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thank you great advice :)
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