On deciding to make more decisions (and my pledge follow through)

For most of my childhood and all of my adult life, I've been coping with depression. I've never been properly medicated tho, mostly because of my one encounter with a psychiatrist a few years ago, while I was going through postpartum depression (it's something like the crazy vile depressions sister but I'll get to that some other time) was an awkward, awkward 60minute torture. And it is really for the best that medication never became my solution. But I have had the pleasure of talking to two wonderful psychologists that taught me how to help my self. And because I am my own worst enemy and always put my self last I have been terrible at helping myself, to say the least. So for or the last ten years, I've been unsuccessfully scrambling around, trying many different methods, different things, from positive thinking to writing diaries to even self-help videos and motivational speakers (making mistakes is human, after all).

I have noticed I am generally at my best under two conditions: having a job (preferably one I like) and helping others. So I already took care of ''having a job'' thing, I'm returning to my old gardening job, which I adore. And as far as the helping others goes...I'll be my own Samaritan this year because lord knows I need one. This year I've decided to try harder and push myself a little bit more. Challenge my self, if you will. My new year resolution (besides getting off Santas naughty list for 2018.) was to do a year in resolutions. I've read about that concept on some lifestyle blog in some of the past Januaries of my life. But then I remembered I was terrible in ''following through'' on resolutions, and one of my first ones should definitely be to follow through and finish what I start, and I came to a conclusion that a year was maybe too ambitious. So I decided to do a month-by-month, baby step thing and in order to push my self to follow through, to motivate my self I decided to steem about it.

I already have a few decisions I made. Like making a bullet journal for example. I am a Pinterest sucker after all. A very lovely lady gave me a planer perfect for bullet journal so I decided to take it as a sign that I should have one. If you never heard of the B.J. concept here are some good starter videos and I'll be sure to write a post about making my B.J. this week.

And I'll definitely start by finishing my series of post on kid's B-day parties and the ones about carriers and babywearing. I'll try to bribe some of my many steemit colleagues from Šibenik to show me how to pimp my posts (center, bold, italic and stuff like that...).
All in all, I am really genuinely excited for this year now (even tho I hated it for the first few days) and can't wait to start sharing my journey with you guys.

P.S. About the lady that I got my B.J. from... If you follow from Croatia you should definitely check this lady out. She is an incredibly talented person and makes all kinds of graphic designing, paper product modification, printing, party props, party place decoration and setting, flyers...she is a genius) Here is her work on FB. Be sure to follow her here: https://www.facebook.com/geoidizajn/

And this song...my brother is nuts about it and so now it got stuck in my head. I find it kind of sounds like a soundtrack for this post. It makes it more a two-dimensional experience. And music is the beginning and the end of everything in my life and nice things ought to be shared. So there. Give it a listen.