Just One of Those Days...

blewitt (72) in life • 5 years ago

This is going to just be a bit of a rant as I’m having a woes me moment, so I apologize right off the bat.

2020 was supposed to be “my year”. I turned 40 in February and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I was actually looking forward to it. I had a plan and I figured the big 40 was as good a time as any to start getting my shit together. My 30’s were not super kind to me as they were loaded with plenty of hardships that seemed to beat me down physically, mentally, financially, emotionally, and any other way imaginable. So I set out a plan to right the ship and started inching towards accomplishing some of those goals.

I felt good as I seemed to be making some progress in the past several months...but things have seemingly taken a turn once again with the current state of affairs that we all find ourselves knee deep in. Covid-19 is all we hear about as of late and it seems to be just the beginning.

I’m not sure my business can survive an extended period of uncertainty and that’s weighing heavily. I cannot go visit my mom at all as she’s in a nursing home with dementia. They stopped visitations several days back and I have no idea how long that will remain in effect. Finances are obviously going to be brutal as we all start to feel the crunch in the coming weeks and months ahead.

The insanity on social media between my friends and family who have differing opinions on social and political issues is just getting more brazen as the divide furthers. Just got into it with one of my good friends the other day as he was completely out of line and hung the bait...which I stupidly took.

But tonight as I see the results of the Democratic Primaries come in...I just can’t help but feel truly disheartened. Bernie got demolished. The youth vote didn’t turn up once again and the aging population is once again, the most reliable voter block.

I’m a Bernie guy which I’m sure will please some of you and make others want to spit in my face. That’s fine. While I don’t agree with everything he stands for, I felt as though he was the most genuine and passionate candidate. He has been fighting the good fight for ages and I truly felt as though the world would have benefited from having someone as genuine as him in office. He just wants everyone to have a shot at a decent life but I guess that’s too fucking extreme. Sadly for me, it looks like this world won’t get the chance to see that.

The youth vote...just...fucking sucks. They don’t come out and support. The numbers are telling and it’s troubling that so many young people could simply not be bothered to pay attention to what goes on around them in this country. Shit...my wife and kids don’t seem to care. My sister told me the other day that she didn’t even know who was running. Nobody cares it seems...and that it just disheartening on so many levels.

I’m just at a breaking point again after a few months of feeling like things could be on the up. Everything that I have planned for has gone to hell and I worked my ass off to get to a point where I could start making major life moves. It seems that once again, life has other plans in place and I just need to accept that.

I know I’m bitching right now about my personal life and it’s such an insignificant thing while the world is crumbling...I get it. I’m just having a day and a moment and needed to vent my frustrations to the one place that I feel comfortable doing that...my writings.

I hope your days are going a bit smoother and that you are all safe and healthy. Keep practicing social distancing as it’s important. We will get through this.

Blewitt

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5 years ago by blewitt (72)

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deadspace (69) · 5 years ago

I mean, the whole point of this platform is to come here and bitch and talk about how moist your nutsack is, so don't apologize, dood.

Stay safe and stay strong, baby boi.

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3 votes

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galenkp (75) · 5 years ago

Hey mate, how you doing with all this world is shut down shit?

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1 vote

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deadspace (69) · 5 years ago (edited)

Me personally? I'm pretty split on everything. On one hand, I have been watching this virus unfold like a eagle who found an 8 ball of crack since January. It's been super interesting and fascinating to me watching what happens and how stupidly people have reacted to it spreading. On the other hand I have been getting more and more anxious over the past week at the possibility of me getting the virus, not just because of my own health but because I have immune compromised people in my life. One of whom has COPD and emphysema and is 60 years old. Definitely also worried about looting/thievery in the coming months if we remain on lock down and supplies start to dwindle, as I live in the ghetto in a very easily compromised apartment building.

I fully expect a 2 week national lockdown to happen at any time in the next few days. Though, I'm preparing to see that become 1-3 months considering the spread of the virus. My fiancee is home from work for the next 3 weeks, as they've shut down her agency due to one of her co-workers being exposed to the virus by an attorney who has been infected down at our local court system. At this point we're just getting ready to hunker down for the next few weeks with minimal trips to the grocery store for small things we may need, and the doctors as I sadly need to be seen this week for chronic sinusitis. So, yeah. Definitely feeling very soft and flaccid right now.

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galenkp (75) · 5 years ago

Yep, it's concerning. Especially with immunity-compromised people around you. They locked up my dad's nursing home as they had a couple cases inside. I may not see my dad again...I mean, that's a reality I suppose.

As for the civil unrest you mention...I started talking about that yesterday...We haven't seen it here, but as the stress, anger, inability to get things, fear, financial pressure and deaths rise so will crime. People will start jumping fences looking for things, and homeowners will respond...Once it takes to the streets...Well, we know how it goes then. This has happened over and over in the world and it doesn't look pretty, or end well for many.

I heard a few US states are talking martial law but am not sure if that's true. I happen to know that the military here have already mobilised (quietly) and so I can only assume it is on the agenda for governments all over the world, but behind closed doors.

I'm flaccid as fuck right now, but I'm a prepared dude, and a dude of action rather than a wait and see guy so maybe that'll place me a little ahead of the game.

Dude, stay safe, watch your six and take care.

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deadspace (69) · 5 years ago

The police in my area have already put out a statement that they're going to be slow to arrest people for crimes. So, I fully expect it to get pretty bad if things get worse. But, we'll see.

You stay safe too, my dood.

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galenkp (75) · 5 years ago

Interesting...The cops did a similar thing here, stopping all drug and alcohol testing on the roads...They still have a presence though. Let's see how it plays out.

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galenkp (75) · 5 years ago

!ENGAGE 20

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misterengagement (55) · 5 years ago

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sparkesy43 (59) · 5 years ago

Don't apologise for venting mate. This blog is your outlet. It's about you. Use it for whatever you need to use it for.

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2 votes

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galenkp (75) · 5 years ago

!ENGAGE 30

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misterengagement (55) · 5 years ago

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bryan-imhoff (66) · 5 years ago

With you on so many levels. My last post was a mini vent as well. Feel free to call if you ever want to chat, and once we can actually sit down in a restaurant again, we should grab some dinner. It’s been too long!

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2 votes

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galenkp (75) · 5 years ago

!ENGAGE 20

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misterengagement (55) · 5 years ago

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stuffbyspencer (61) · 5 years ago

I'm not going to say "It gets better!", or "Hang in there!", because I know that being in your position those phrases can sound really superficial and annoying to hear.

Instead, I just wanna say: I feel you. I've been there. It sucks. I was a Yang fan, and felt pretty bummed out that he didn't get it. But whatever, we still had Bernie, and boy did he demolish Biden in the most recent debate. But, alas, the public just doesn't seem to share this sentiment.

It sucks. It hurts. And it's really fucking annoying.

I know what you're feeling, trust me. I wish you the best of luck, and if you ever wanna talk about anything ( politics, life, shitposts to distract us ), feel free to hit me up. Here, Twitter, email: [email protected]. Wherever & whenever you'd like :^)

As for your personal struggles with business & family, I'm sorry to hear that. I hope things improve & soon. Are you able to have your mother use any sort of video call software? Skype, Google Duo, stuff like that?

!BEER for your troubles

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1 vote

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galenkp (75) · 5 years ago

!ENGAGE 20

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misterengagement (55) · 5 years ago

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cryptogee (75) · 5 years ago

Hey man, hang in there. Unfortunately for you guys, I think you have 4 more years of Trump to look forward to, we are in #TheAgeOfTheMoron and he is Moron in Chief.

Just try not to let it effect you too much, and up your online efforts with your business.

Good luck dude!

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galenkp (75) · 5 years ago

Picture me giving you a hearty bro-hug mate...They make ~~everything~~ nothing better, but show support and solidarity.

We're all feeling this pressure and I feel the same...2020 was supposed to kick ass...It is not so far. In fact it's kicking our ass and there's fuck all we can do about it.

Vent away mate, it's healthy and this is a better place for it than Facebook and all those other fucking insidious social medias.

I don't know how you feel, your mum, the business etc. But I can imagine and don't envy your position. It's sort of similar to mine as my dad is in a nursing home with dementia too...My wife's business relies on people, as does my job...It's all fucked mate, truly fucked, and all we can do is strap in for the ride.

Vent away bro, it's ok.

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steemitadventure (66) · 5 years ago

I think this is a great place to bitch about current things. Odd little niche community and this will make many closer.

Ugh man I feel you on the business :/ words don’t mean much in these situations so I will leave it at that.

And I don’t mind people of any political affiliation as long as they are respectful. I don’t stand next to people who fan the flames. I’m team good people.

Best wishes homie! And feel free to rant cause I read that stuff!

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sidekickmatt (66) · 5 years ago

#teamgoodpeople!!!

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beerlover (62) · 5 years ago

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modernzorker (66) · 5 years ago

I've honestly been thinking about you a lot these last couple of weeks. My fingers are crossed that small businesses get a metric fuck-ton of help here, and soon, to be able to weather this. Until then, keep writing, keep venting, and don't downplay your own hopes and desires. They may technically be "insignificant" compared to other things going on right now, sure, but they aren't insignificant to you.

Don't sell yourself short. You are allowed to want good things, and you're allowed to vent when life conspires to sell you short.

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steemmatt (69) · 5 years ago

Get lost in listing all of your collectibles in your garage and basement. Tons of income potential and something to get your mind off things. It's not easy to start, but do a few a day, and then snowball.

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simonjay (76) · 5 years ago

I get you man been there are few times and expect it to happen again, I heard there was less cases in China perhaps a silver lining, would of been great if Steem could of helped in such a time of crisis.

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arcange (73) · 5 years ago (edited)

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dfinney (65) · 5 years ago

Oh @blewitt... 2020 can bite me. Oh wait! It has already.

The voting apathy KILLS me. Oof!

I think there were a lot of decent candidates this run for the dems. No one super inspired me, but for me ALL of them are better than the current guy. But you already know this about me. 😉 I just can’t even imagine how this election is gonna look with covid on top. Also the politicization of covid kills me. Cause why believe epidemiologists and healthcare workers when you can believe some fuck head on YouTube who thinks the whole thing is a scam by the deep state....

Mom. I feel your pain 100%. My mom is still in the hospital, but at least she is sounding better on the phone. I am so sorry you are separated from your mom. It sucks. For you, your dad, your mom and everyone in the family. I really hope the rules change so you can see her sooner than later.

Work. Are you able to sell online? What about your wife? Is her job secure?

You are an awesome person and you deserve to have some positive shit come at you in your 40’s. Hang in there friend!

PS- are you team hive or steem or both? I haven’t decided what I am doing on that front.

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Just One of Those Days...