My Trouble With Unrealistic Beauty Standards

There is a saying “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” , but what if your eyes need glasses? I recently wrote an article about how I prefer not to look at extremely beautiful people because it makes me feel ugly and inadequate, but at the same time my mixed up brain has standards of beauty which are way too high for potential partners. I was watching a video yesterday , that at face value is just a funny skit made by a comedian, but it actually tells a telling story of our society today. For men and probably women as well, our standards of beauty have risen substantially. For me, I often will find small little things about someone and completely push off the possibility of being with them for essentially a tiny imperfection that makes me unattracted to them. In the long run I end up chasing girls that are beautiful and vain, who hardly give me the time of day because im not up to their standards of beauty, which just makes me depressed. The cycle continues over and over again with no exit and just continuous heartbreak. I need to somehow figure out how I can force myself to lower my standards of physical beauty so I can find someone who is more beautiful on the inside.

Im not sure where this level of raised beauty standards comes from, perhaps its from the entitlement my generation has or perhaps another factor. I think definitely society’s beauty standard has been changed more this generation, with Hollywood, advertising, social media ect. than any others, just based off the sheer amount of content we now consume on a daily basis compared to the generations in our past. We have apps like instagram where you can look at pictures of near nude models all day on the go without being judged as a pervert, because they are “artistic” photos. This just adds to this level of belief that every guy should have a beautiful model as a girl friend even if they are out of shape, unkept and living in their mom’s basement.

I see posts on 4 chan where people will talk about the smallest flaws in girls who are absolutely stunning physically, like they would never be with them because of one minor flaw. For example if you remember the Megan Fox toe thumb controversy that was going happening in the past. In some way this ideology has rubbed off on me as I have come to realize I hold the same unrealistic beauty standards for women that I shouldn’t. I have said before that I don’t want to be this way, I wish that I could turn on a switch and just see everyone as physically beautiful in their own way, but my brain is stopping that from happening.

I have such a love hate relationship with female beauty that it perplexes me. On one side, looking at really beautiful women makes me a little depressed because I feel like they would never be with me and I cant just appreciate the beauty of them, but on the other hand I want to be with a beautiful women as much as the next guy. If I could untangle this mess in my mind then I would, but I am finding it near impossible. I think for me the major factor of why I am obsessed with higher beauty standards is because of the pornography I consume. Im not consume massive amounts of it, but it definitely raises your standard of beauty and puts in stone what the human body should look like, which to my brain, registers as “this is the only way to look that is acceptable”. It creates a false standard of beauty that the majority of the population can not achieve, which leaves a large portion feeling left out. With people today becoming exposed to porn at such a young age as well, their young minds still in development learn these falsehoods and take them as reality, going on to sometimes live an unhappy and unfulfilling life without women.

Although physical beauty is a very important part of a relationship, I feel as if I am putting much more importance on it as I should and missing out on people who are truly beautiful on the inside. I think that our standards of beauty have risen to a level that is unreasonable for many of people in the younger generation. If you have had the same trouble, or have an experience to share, I would love to hear it. Any suggestions on how I can get over this would be amazing as well. I hope all of you are doing well and thanks as always for reading!

-Calaber24p