Pseudonym

in life •  7 years ago 

Hello.

I go by the name of Celestia. 19 years of age and I live in Asia.

Let me show you an excerpt of my personal diary.

To the people who may feel worried about the words I write, what's in my diary is not exempted from punishment.

I live in a country where you can get killed if you go against the powerful. Actors/Actresses, singers, dancers, and so much more dominated the government, just because they are popular and rich. The rich stealing from the poor.

I live in a community where it is the victim's fault that he/she was raped because of his/her clothing.

I study in a university where students are treated as piggy banks, and it is also where grades are more important than learning which loses the true essence of learning.

I live in a house that doesn't feel like home anymore.

And I live a life eagerly waiting for death to knock on my doorstep. But sometimes, I would knock on death's doorstep and eventually gets silence in return.

It's pretty easy to say that life gets better if everything around you is in favor of you.

After feeling a complete cycle of happiness, I know that something bad would happen. Fool proof.

And then, everything just stopped. Life drained me. Life knocked down my own kingdom.

I hate it that I've grown numb. Numb from all the pain, suffering, emptiness that I felt. I hate it that I may have forgotten the feeling of happiness and bliss. It frustrates me to look at my childhood, seeing a happy child with no worries on her face, a child always wearing a pure smile on her face, and a child full of happiness in her. And now, I see a girl wearing a half smile just to cover her tired eyes, and she's empty and alone.

My kingdom was in shambles.

Then, I saw hope, and that is myself.

I did what any queen would do--I tried to rebuild my kingdom and myself.

Down to the last screw, I will fix it.

I won't let any calamity or war destroy it. Rebuild it again, if I must.

And if it comes to the point that it is perfectly restored, then I'll boast it to my past self that I restored our kingdom.

I'll be proud.

I'll be happy.

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That's dark, nihilist, and cynical.

@tailslide yuppp haha thanks for the comment!