Thank you so much for sharing this part of yourself. It's a very inspiring story that shows great strength. I too grew up with social awkwardness, crippling anxiety, and a yearning desire for the connection. The distortions of my ego led me to impose shame on my differences and seek approval when when surface approval wasn't even my true currency. With hindsight it is easy to see how foisting shame on my maverick streak, the part of me with a healthy disregard for the beaten path - forced that part of myself to express through the trapdoor of addiction to pleasure or numbness from a very young age. They exited the trapdoor with the force and vigour of pent up pressure being released through a small hole, and by as early as 6 years of age I had already discovered the dopamine rush of porn and the numbwash of alcohol. The secrecy only increased the pressure of release.

That was a roundabout way of telling you that I See You. Thank you for reclaiming the gifts of sensitivity and trailblazing tendencies - it is no accident of luck that you have them - for yourself and all of us.

Cheers!