Unheard Voices II: From total darkness to finding my light

This is my testimony and maybe it could help you in some way so please pay attention to what I have to tell you...

I was in darkness for more than a decade and at the time I didn´t know that this darkness would become the source of my inner light.

I was walking in the streets practically naked, half a sleep due to the effect of hard drugs. I was in the border of dementia, tried to kill myself and had so many bad experiences that I could practically write a book. But I am a warrior, a survivor, I lived to tell the story and hopefully become an example for those in need.

It all started with the “boom” of electronic parties, we called them raves. The only drug I tried at the time was marihuana but in those parties a wide range of substances became part of my day to day.

My life was a mixture of happiness, sadness, euphoria, rage and depression. Coliraver was my nickname in the rave parties where I was widely known by most people, a kind of fame that I am not proud of. I still use the nickname on social networks to remind myself who I was, who I am.

I was asleep for large parts of my darkness, but some life events helped me found my inner light. I learnt to love myself and I realized that I was getting older and I missed so many opportunities that were not going to come back, opportunities are unique and only come by once so you either take them or let them pass and I was missing all of them.

I decided to quit my bad habits and replace them with some healthy ones. I started hiking, which taught me a lot about self-improvement, there is no impossible goal if you have a good plan and the right motivation. Every time I am going up a mountain I think of everything I have been trough and I use it as motivation to keep going.

I defined and wrote my short, middle and long term goals. Everything was more complicated once I decided to change, a lot of doors were already closed and there were lots of obstacles in the way. I was older but that didn’t stop me.

One of the goals I was set to accomplish was graduating from university. Many times I thought of desisting and going back to my comfort zone: my old life, but I thought of the obstacles as hurdles that were there so I could prove to myself that I could do it, that I was worth something.

Little by little I was reaching the goals I set to achieve. I graduated from Business school and I found a job on an insurance company, where I learnt a lot and got promoted for my efforts. At the same time I was taking courses to become a mountain guide. I created a group called “Aventuras sin frenos” (adventure with no breaks) and became the leader of this hiking crowd, we organized trips to different mountains in Venezuela.

I also developed a passion for photography, something that I wish to study and practice on my trips. My old life is now reduced to stories from my past, nothing more.

I can now say I am a happy and proud man; I know where I am heading, with determination I can overcome any adversity.

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This post was published with the consent of the original author @coliraver
Spanish Version
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