That sad news that broke my heart

A telephone conversation with my mother:

[Mom] I need to tell you something

[Me] yes. Ok

[Mom] Your dad’s eye lymphoma cancer will be under radiotherapy procedure.

[Me] Ok. Then? ( actually, this is not news, we all knew this)

[Mom] Doc’s said that there are consequences.

[Me] which is?

[Mom] He is sure to lose one of his eye, if not both

[Me] (a moment of silence as I am left speechless, mom is crying in the background)

The news just breaks my heart. I know my father won't take this well. This is just too damaging for him... As a daughter I must be objective and remain realistic- but that doesn't mean that I don't cry behind their back, I just need to appear strong in front of my family. I have yet to meet them but will go home next wednesday.

I need to carefully choose my word to talk to my father. He can be very childish in his action, that is where I need to be the adult. My father won't listen to anyone, not even my mom but perhaps he will listen to me. I am sure he won't take that procedure as he will never be able to drive again-- that's just too much for him.

I know it is easy to say when you are not the one facing the problem. The truth is, we feel sorry for him, we feel sad, we feel that God is not being fair, we feel that this life is not fair, why him? But.. without the procedure, he can die.

I wish... for the burden of my father to lessen. Amin

Jen