Why I No Longer Feel Apart

There's always been certain books that held the most appeal to me. I have always loved the idea of a world just out of reach of this one. One where, if you could find your way in, was full of mystery and magic. I am realizing today, steemit has become that for me.

Always Outside

I don't know that I ever really felt connected to this world or time. I remember elementary school, learning about the wars that have come before and nuclear bombs.... I cried later to my mom. The reason I gave her was I didn't want to be alive today, I should have been born in a different time when things were better. I found no solace, my history lesson that day was the world has always been ugly. I have a slight inclination towards separation already, it hasn't been officially diagnosed or anything, but I believe myself to have mild aspergers syndrome. Reading people has never been easy for me, I was always very open and consistent with my behavior, it baffled me that most people aren't.
I was sent for testing when I was 12 as my parents thought I had a learning disability. The results indicate my self-diagnosed aspergers is on track, intellectually I am quite bright and grasp concepts and theories very well, making connections that others don't right away quite easily. Emotionally, I was (am?) very immature, unable to predict, and extremely confused by, the emotional reactions of others. My family jokes that I like strong "bitchy" women, the truth is I like people that don't make me guess.

Then..... This

The above is just to say, that I do not know if I have ever felt so connected as I do here. I don't have the following some of you do, I have been skirting along the outside.... dipping my toe in here and there. I watch most of you though, I've explored your content on your other sites when it is available, I comment on your posts in ways that try to let you know I did read your post and liked it. I have never been much into social media, it was the people of the world made flimsier. Content without any of the depth or soul that made it personal.

Incentivized Rewards

I did a post on what an offline MMOG might look like recently, it was through the creation of that post that I fully realized the depth of what this platform is. Allan Dixon (@daxon) said it well in his TED talk, which he linked on his intro page awhile back, it wasn't until he injected himself into the media and made himself vulnerable, that it became something more.
I have a lot of people followed, truth is I feel terrible when someone has chosen to follow me and I don't do the same. What I see though is that very same, very simple, principal on the website. The people who inject themselves into their content are the ones that do well. I have made exactly one post that I felt truly connected myself and the content, and it was the only post that received any attention. I am highly attracted to the possible world this can help shape.... a world I spent my childhood longing for, without any portal needed.

What has your experience been? Like me, do you spend less time looking at your wallet and more time searching yourself? I am very curious how others exposure to this entirely new thing has affected them, if at all.

Photo credits are entirely from this website and are from her work of high end porcelain dolls. I highly encourage a visit and sending her a message of appreciation, and maybe an invitation to join us as well.
http://www.enchanteddoll.com/
Here is the link to @dixon's post which includes his link to his TED Talk.