What to Do When You Feel Trapped...

I'm sorry I stopped posting again, not that I've forgotten you all. Anyway, I am just here the whole time. It is just that times are hard - for everyone. Our community quarantine has been lifted and I was asked to go back to work. However, it didn't turn out okay so I am out of work again. I know and it sucks. I felt trapped in this reality. And I find myself again in a state of endless limbo.

I was one of the supposedly lucky ones to be back at work. To be honest, my quarantine life was way better. This has been my life virus or no virus anyway. Now I am trapped between supporting myself or putting up with my insecure female colleagues and a toxic boss who was kind of exhibiting that typical male rejection behavior lately. I forgive him for the 2 months of no work no pay without a care at all. I guess it all started when I asked him to help me move my stuff arriving from the beach town to my new apartment in the city. All because I couldn't find a vehicle to hire during the community lockdown. The trucking service didn't manage to deliver it straight to my place for some reason. My boss is in the construction business so he has cars, trucks and all. I don't have a car or any friends around here with cars.

He helped me with the move and for that I am thankful. Then he started sending me this uncomfortable vibe, maybe after finding out that I am living alone? He is married by the way. Like when he sent me a late-night "Hi", or replying to my selfie stories with weird messages. And of course, I was not replying to him. I should have thought that helping someone comes with a sexual obligation.

At work, I shared all my marketing ideas as that was part of my job. But in the end, all my effort went to waste. When I was new, my boss told me how he didn't like the other staff who were just there to follow his orders. However, when I initiated something, my colleagues wouldn't cooperate or he wasn't very supportive at all. This is the damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. I was left with more time to kill wasting my life away 8 hours a day 6 days a week. That was the worst. The point of working is to work. I don't see any challenges anymore. Dealing with a toxic environment and something that is no longer meaningful gives me anxiety every day. In the past, I survived just focusing on my dream while living off Steemit and boiled eggs. How can I not do it now? I just want to live long enough, sane enough to see the dream. So I will protect my peace at all costs.

I haven't worked for somebody else for years as I'm used to earning money on my own. I already know this kind of work reality that I dread so much. But due to the pandemic, everything that I've been working on has stopped. It will probably take a while before people can start traveling again. I am looking for alternatives to keep myself sane. Alternative ways to live.

Maybe I should leave this island, go back to my city, and finally be with my friends and family. The problem is that the Covid-19 situation is worse in big cities. Or maybe I should extend the pain threshold one more time.

Have you ever felt trapped in a situation too?