Are You Exhausted From Being Too Nice?

Are you "overly nice" and facing difficulties because of it? Many empaths and caring individuals often experience burnout due to their tendency to over-give.

They sincerely want to help others but often do not realize when it is time to step back. The essential element missing in their approach is balance. They need to understand when to dial back their giving and prioritize their own well-being.

There are people who have given every ounce of their energy to assist someone, only to discover that the recipient might not have even desired their help. Others exhaust themselves in an effort to fix problems that are not theirs to solve.

To ensure that your generosity is beneficial both to those you help and to yourself, it is crucial to practice discernment and maintain a balanced approach. Research in neuroscience has uncovered various positive effects of healthy giving on overall well-being.

For example, studies show that volunteering can decrease stress, reduce feelings of depression, and even alleviate physical discomfort.

Additionally, brain imaging has revealed that making donations to worthy causes activates the brain's pleasure centers, releasing dopamine, which enhances feelings of happiness.

Engaging with community initiatives has also been shown to improve individuals' ability to cope with challenges such as addiction and loss.

The urge to give often springs from a place of empathy. You care deeply about others and want to make a difference in their lives. This leads you to offer your time, knowledge, and energy.

For many, including myself, time is the most precious gift of all. You might take time to listen to a coworker navigating a difficult divorce, do laundry for a sick neighbor, or simply share a smile with someone you meet in passing.

There is a common misconception that healthy giving is purely unconditional or selfless. In reality, healthy giving can also involve conditions. It emanates from your heart while simultaneously recognizing the need for boundaries, particularly in situations that demand them.

Practicing self-care is vital in this context. One meaningful way to give is by expressing appreciation to others. Acknowledging someone’s effort, whether they took out the trash, covered a shift for you, or penned an inspiring novel, validates their contributions.

This validation can uplift moods, allowing individuals to see their circumstances in a more positive light.

In my work with patients and the psychiatric residents I supervise at UCLA, I emphasize the importance of wise giving. Knowing how to balance generosity with self-care can sometimes be critical for survival.

This lesson is essential for those who are overly nice and often give too much of themselves. Learning to empathize without endangering one’s own welfare is a vital skill that anyone can develop.

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