The overall sadness a person feels after losing a romantic relationship is known as the pain of separation. While relationships can bring a lot of joy and fulfill the need for close connections, ending one can be very hard. Rejection is tough, but being turned away by someone you loved and invested time in can be especially painful.
This experience, often referred to as post-relationship trauma, resembles mourning. The grief from losing a relationship is similar to that from losing someone to death.
Both experiences can lead to similar mental, emotional, and physical symptoms. After a tough breakup, a person might struggle with various psychological issues, including:
Negative thinking
Forgetfulness
Trouble focusing
Constantly thinking about the relationship
Avoiding duties
Tiredness
Sleep issues
Feeling depressed
Anxiety
Sudden mood swings
Obsessive thoughts
Moreover, the pain of separation can lead to symptoms like decreased school or work performance, lack of attention, retreating from social activities, increased alcohol use, self-blame, and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.
While many breakups are mutual, there are people who choose to end the relationship and those who are left behind. The individuals who are left often go through a different emotional journey and react differently compared to those who initiate the breakup.
People who decide to end the relationship might find it easier to cope than those who are taken by surprise or feel they have no control over the situation. Therefore, the symptoms mentioned are frequently seen in those left behind.
Society often assumes that women suffer more after a breakup because they are seen as more emotional and committed. However, research indicates that men might feel the pain of separation more deeply since their emotional needs are often better met in relationships. Men also tend to fall in love more quickly and face relationship issues more intensely.
A common belief is that men usually end relationships due to women's feelings of anxiety, guilt, anger, and sadness over losing a loved one. Yet studies show that women are often more responsible for ending relationships.
Because men and women are raised differently, their ways of dealing with the sadness of separation can differ. Studies reveal that men struggle more with heartbreak and often use distraction as a way to cope.
As a result, men are more likely to rush into new relationships to avoid dealing with their past ones. Their aim is to shift their focus rather than confront the pain of the ended relationship.
Men may feel more vulnerable and shocked when a relationship ends, making them more prone to separation depression. Women, however, are often thought to handle breakups better because they recognize relationship problems sooner and can prepare themselves for the split.