How to see life after moving to another place or another house

Even for the best reasons, moving to a new residence is a big decision that will affect us. We hear from our journalist about her new house.

My boyfriend and I moved from the suburbs to a forest edge, lake, and mountain last summer.

Because it was cheap, we bought an unsightly house. I was unimpressed my first time there. But I liked its location and potential. I knew my business sweetheart would hand-build a warm, simple, and lovely house for us.

Since then, I've seen this house become the one I carried inside. To express my current self, my goals, simplicity, and nature. I chose this move, therefore I don't miss my suburban house.

Emilie was forced to leave her city home. Separation. "I wouldn't have had the financial means to keep it," adds. "Anyway, I wouldn't have liked to stay there because of the memories. Like maintaining one foot in the past."

Losing a house means losing a physical location you loved and sometimes tangible memories. Those memories will stay with us. But the spot where they happened makes them indisputable. Many will leave if the memories is too unpleasant, even if they might have done otherwise.

Émilie viewed numerous apartments before choosing. Yes, close to school. Not costly. Near a tube and food store. “But it was love at first sight,” adds Émilie. “I trusted my gut.” “We often think practical criteria are what make us choose a place to live,” explains Toby Israel.

“That's partly true, but our heart guides us most. Why do we feel good or bad in a house without knowing why? Houses are emotionally charged.”

The psychologist believes our childhood homes shape our adult ones. The analyst says choosing a residence frequently involves reproducing or rejecting our childhood home.

“We try to find, most often unconsciously, elements that have marked us or things we have missed.” For Émilie, the alley. “My childhood alley was an extension of our house in Montreal. I wanted to give my son that.”

In addition to what we bring or depart, our residences represent these life stages. “A house is never just a simple material structure,” says psychologist Toby Israel, “it’s an expression of the people who live there.”

After her breakup, Emilie rebuilds her life in her flat. First flat as a single woman, rented with ex-boyfriend, house shared for few months in another country, suburban house where I raised my children. Interestingly, this house presently resembles my boyhood home.

Simple but cosy dwelling. Freshly cut grass fragrance. Run on this large field. Each place represents a chapter in our book. “If we listed all the places a person has lived over the years, we could read their life history there,” says Toby Israel. Also true for me.

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