Autism: A personal note

in life •  7 years ago  (edited)

Blue Butterflies


On a walk the other day, I had the desire to try my hand at some street photography after being inspired by the beautiful shots of my friend @countrygirl. I came upon this precious piece.


Today, @laviniatherapist reminded us all that it is Global Autism Awareness Day. In honor of this day, you can see some beautiful buildings and wonders bathed in blue light. If you've seen a blue butterfly today, this is the reason.


How wonderfully timely that I had this picture on my phone!


My favorite posts are posts that reveal a little peek into the author's life. Research is valuable, and facts are important - but when I spend my time reading a post, I want to walk away from it with my world gently shifted. I want to feel something. I crave that connection, no matter how slight.


In the spirit of that, I'd like to share a mother's perspective on loving my autistic child.



I remember crawling into his world, waiting to gain his trust.

I remember eye contact.

I remember holding his hand, as we walked together to join the "scary world out there".

I remember the day when he said I love you for the first time, and meant it.

I remember teaching him the difference between feeling scared and feeling excited.

I remember when toys became objects of play, and not just objects of sound.

I remember learning that black and white can be comforting, while grey is scary and unpredictable.

I remember when hugs became desirable and not avoided.

I remember when eating lunch at 12:01 became acceptable.

I remember watching the realization that letters made sounds... made words... made communication.

I remember when he finally realized he was brilliant.

I remember the first joke that didn't need to be explained.

I remember the giddy laugh that followed.

I remember the first joke he created.

I remember aching when I saw him eating alone.

I remember understanding his preference for solitude.

I remember panicking about age 3, 12, 19, 25, 36...99

I remember breathing and taking it one day at a time.... still.

I remember this gift, everyday, and for the rest of my life.



April is Autism Awareness Month.



*All images were created by me.*
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I want to walk away from it with my world gently shifted

And this post definitely shifted my world.

Thank you Vanessa :) This makes my heart happy. <3

I have a dear friend whose son is autistic and I know how much love and time she has poured into him. It hasn't been easy for her (or the rest of the family) but it has paid off, and he's a lovely young man. I just know that you'll have done a similarly wonderful job, and have come through it with your sense of humour intact and with a huge heart. I can see too why connection is so important to you. Blessings to you all. xx

yes... hes 17 and I'm so blessed to see this young man that he has become!!! I still have those moments of panic hehehehe but the joy overflows everyday.
and yes - connection is so important.... i just finished a post on that tonight... but need to make it prettier hehehe Blessings to you too my sweet birthday MONTH friend ;)

I remember the first joke that didn't need to be explained.

A very beautiful post.
I wore blue for it. A friend at work told me about autism day.
:)

Thank you friend 💙
I think the human brain is one of the most fascinating things on the planet :) It's such a delicate, complex blob of mystery! hehehe

I remember meeting that strong, smart, and funny young man.

What a proud mom you must be to have such a kind gentleman, for a son.

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

My darling boy man hehehe

I can't believe how time has deepened our journey!!! So glad you appreciated his heart ❤️

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Good work!

Ah kids! Whether there's a name for the way that they're special, or not, they're truly what we're here to make and live and learn through.

MIne are amazing me as adults as they did as children and I expect they will continue to do so.

PS, I met a metal butterfly today too!

30072792_10160124402990697_3894630990383956693_o.jpg

I love this :) thank you for sharing!!!! now every time you see a metal butterfly - you can smile! (i hope!)

this one is 17.5..... hehehehe so he is almost an adult ;)

i'm sure he will continue to amaze me!!!! Thanks for coming to visit my post "Uncle" Lloyd hehehehehehehe

( i swear you remind me sooooooooo much of my favorite uncle. LOL i'm just going to adopt you. Done.)

wait, do I get a certificate of unclery or something?

Funny you should ask Uncle @lloyddavis!!!!

That's going on the wall, next to my 75 yards swimming certificate.

I'm so qualified!!

Hahahahhaha!!!! Well.let me just tell you!!! You are the only one who was even in the running to be adopted as my favorite steemit uncle.

I'm not sure if that means you should be pitied??? Or if you should be proud!

My vote is... A little of both 😂

Let them not pity me! 100% PROUD!

Starting my day with a good chuckle... What a good uncle!!!! 😁

Thanks for posting and for raising awareness about Autism. I dropped by from the S.U.P.A. discord group to visit everyone's blog and get to know them. Hope to see you around.

Hi there :) thanks for reading! What is the SUPA discord group? Not sure I've heard of that one before (or not recognizing the initials at least hehehe)

There is no doubt in my mind you are an amazing mother to your son. I enjoyed reading your post, but I loved hearing you speak about it. You are like I always say the most enthusiastic person I heard speaking in a long time and your positive energy is amazing. :)

I completely agree with reading something which can connect you with the author. I love those posts which come from a heart and soul of the author. Just like your post today.

I think your perspective of the mother loving you autistic child is a great, personal, heartwarming, poem. You said it was not a poem but it sure did sound like one to me. These words are your life with your son. All those words represent a memory you shared with your son. And, it is amazing. :)

Ok I am gonna stop talking now. lol I really enjoyed your presentation today and I thank you for participating again. One big arggggg hug for you from Italy. :)

It's always a pleasure to talk to you as well! and its my joy to talk about being a mother! There are so many ups and downs.. heartbreaks and delights... but everyday it's still a gift.

It doesn't surprise me that we both enjoy the connection that is made through reading posts - we're always so alike.

You know - i suppose that was like a poem! You're right :) I'll have to submit it to @damianjayclay hehehehe

I felt that argggggg hug and sending one back to you!! :)

My sweet friend! Thank you for bringing me here to read this. You have been on such a journey!

I remember the day when he said I love you for the first time, and meant it.

This really effected me. We can say I love you and pour it out, but the moment that love is genuinely given is so beautiful! I think about how you must have cried (because that's what I would have done!) and it makes me weepy!

It was beautifully written! Hugs

thank you my sweet friend! I actually have a really good example to compare it to... that feeling that I had - but i'll tell you in DM ;) (and i will come back hahahahaha this afternoon - i promise LOL )

A very touching and emotionally deep reminder.

Today it's difficult to find those parent's, which still remember these huge steps their children took/will take...

I see a world that sidelines their children as second class citizen's and chides them to act right, rather than guide them to enjoy and learn about the intricacies of life.

Deep connections are becoming more and more shallow and it takes people like you to remind US what living is about.

Being the typical 'tough guy' I needed a good tear duct flush.

Thank you for this beautiful post, my friend. More like this are needed...

do you know how much I appreciate you!?!?! i dont think you do. :)

but i do. and tear ducts always need flushing ahahahaha glad that i could make your tough guy ducts get their "oil changed" hehehe

Sending JOY to you my friend

That list of connections is beautiful! I have a dear friend who looks after a few kids on the spectrum and he has never found more rewarding work. Humans are incredible diverse individuals, recognizing each of us for our strengths is something i wish our society gave more merit to.

Thank you for sharing this with us! Personal glimpses into the lives of our fellow fins are my favorite way to interact with steemit 💖 hope you and your boy share many more blessed years!

thank you so much!!!! i loved getting to talk to you this morning!!! and i couldnt agree more - connection is so key! its what matters :)

One day I believe steemit will return to being more of this .... let's just be part of that change. I think we already are!

This brought tears, not of sadness, but of seeing beautiful LOVE!

I cried when I wrote it, and cried when I read it again the next day :) I know those tears of joy!! hehehe

I might understand one day...maybe.

I'm so thankful to have had my heart opened up in this way! At times it was so painful and scary - but what a treasure and a gift!!!

What a beautiful trilobite to your motherhood journey. Thank you for sharing!

and thank you for reading @simplysara :) I appreciate your kind words :)

Thank you so much for this post dreemy and to be able to release your soul in words 💙

thank you for doing this again and again for all the children out there who need therapists that love them like a mom!!!! 💙

This was beautiful just as you are beautiful. You have grown with him. You have seen life through his eyes...and you've embraced every moment. You are the embodiment of everything that's good in this world. Thank you for sharing this @dreemsteem. ❤❤❤

My sweet friend! Ive been blessed for sure. (and I didnt' list all the times I remembered crying.. hahahaha) but God's been so kind to us, and I surely do love being his mom! love to you!!!

Ahhh, you beautiful soul <3 This brought tears to my eyes <3
Thank you for letting us into your world <3

Much, much love & huggins to you & your family <3

I can't wait to "see" you today at your show. You will shine and glow and be amazing, friend!!!! like always!

I've missed our talks but I know that we will find our rhythm again when its right!!! that's just how we do :)

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

I am so behind, sorry <3

Thank you for tuning in & always supporting me with so much loooove <3
Haaaa, you make me feel like I am walking on clouds <3 Sooo happy <3

Love, love, love, endless love & huggins coming your way my sweet sister <3

don't be sorry - you know that we always love each other no matter how crazy our schedules get! hehehehe

i've been absent a bit because of my hubby's hospital days - but next week should be a little bit calmer :)

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE

Weeeehhhh!!

💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

OMG my heart!!! I just love you even more now - don't know what else to say :D

you would love that boy andy :) hehehehe

Proud of you. Thank you for sharing this list, and honoring your child's life in this way. I appreciate the way your reflection here helps me to recognize these virtues in the people I know who also have autism.

I'm so glad that my list will help you to see through a new filter!!! I'm sure that you already recognized beauty in them - but now maybe just a bit more!! :)

Thank you for your gentle comments, I don't know why I used the word "gentle" right there but that's how it came across. A kind word from a gentle person. :) Thank you

Ah, your word "gentle" resonates on a deep level as I aspire to be a true gentleman in every way. Thank you. Yes, you're right that I already recognized these friends' positive qualities, and your list helps me to see these qualities in a brighter light.

isn't it neat how some words can do that to us? I feel the same way about the word "home" .... that's a very special word to me. i have a little story about it - not sure if i'll post about it or not. but - words really can have a great ability to affect us. i'm glad that my use of "gentle" was a good choice!

Mmm, yeah, I feel you on that. "Home" is a very special word, indeed. I'm a documentarian, and one of my very favorite interviews had a special quote related to home. He said, "To me, home is not a place. Home is people." Such a brilliant and beautiful sentiment. I also like to think of "Home" as the afterlife, or the spirit realm, since I believe we are souls, visiting this material world here, one day destined to return to the souls we're home with. I'll be on the look-out for your post about that special word!

nice!!!! :) if i remember i'll leave you a comment and say it's "up" hehehehe

I remember when he finally realized he was brilliant.

You knew he was brilliant from day one @dreemsteem. I read these lines and cried. I identify with you as a teacher and a parent. Can I ask how old your child is now?

I also thought about your images. You make some interesting images. I like to draw and paint but never made any good images on the computer. Where is a good place to start?

hi @mineopoly!!! i'm sorry i'm just getting to this message.... today was a crazy day (my husband broke his collarbone and we are still waiting for a pin to be put in :(

I'm so touched that my post impacted you in this way. It was a pretty emotional post for me to write - and is still emotional for me to read it too!! He is 17.5 now - so we have come a long way :)

what images did you like? You mean the butterfly separators? I just did that on paint hehehe i was playing around to try to make a butterfly so that I didn't have to try to find one online :)

it came out so sweet - i think. There are a lot of programs to use - but my favorite is a very old program that only works on Windows XP! lol i learned how to manipulate images there - and it was so nice!!!! but everytime a new windows version would come out - it would lose functionality.

I'm getting a new computer that my friend is buildng me and he asked me - did i want anything special on it.

i said yesssssssss please create a partition on the drive for me so that I can have Windows 10 AND Windows XP to use my very old software program for editing photos! hahahahahaah

but - i wouldn't suggest that you do this.... LOL maybe if you go into a photography channel they'll have better suggestions? they're probably all up-to-date on the latest and best software :)

(and yes - i did always know that my boy was brilliant!!!) :)

Thank you for this clear answer @dreemsteem. I have been drawing and working with power point. I don't like Adobe Photoshop or any complicated stuff. I really like art but never got into it or found a way to keep it if I did it cause most of it gets thrown away. Then one day I stumble upon Steemit a great place to store my creations. I am doing som writing and need some pictures. I am thinking about just drawing the pictures with markers and scanning it or maybe use the paint program on windows 7. I only have a few minutes each day to write and use the computer.

So little to do and so much time. Scratch that. Reverse.

And you know already but I will remind you.

You are blessed.

thank you !! i hope you do find software that works for your needs! that's the hardest part - finding one that seems to have everything that you're looking for!!! :)if you use the paint program - be ready for diificult times
if you're touching up an edit with text... then its not so bad....

but there are no layers and its pretty basic, but can get basic jobs don! :)

If you go into that with that mindset - the it won't disappoint!

@dreemsteem
Beautiful post thanks for sharing!

Thank you so much :)

hmmmm i like this one :) That's where I met my boy! and then we were able to bring him out of the sleep and into the awake! hehehehe and the journey has been a difficult, sweet, rewarding, challenging, humbling one! I wouldn't and couldn't trade one moment because it's brought us here!

Thank you for sharing this personal part of your life with us, it is very lovely and emotional. I am so happy for you and your amazing little special person that is in your life. 💚💚💚

hehehe he's not so little anymore!!! :) I remember all those memories but he is a big special person now ;) 17 and 6'2" :)

But I will always remember the incredible journey we've had. Thank you for your joy and energy in the TOTL show today!!!! :)