Hello again!

 

^{Shadow art by Dora Prehn, click here for a different angle}
Part 1 - Introduction

Fast forward to 2012. I managed to get into another relationship that is only one way traffic. Somehow I happen to attract broken people, that I'm initially just a shoulder for, and after turns into a relationship. I've seen her grow, I've helped her through therapy, but now I have to let her go. Deep inside I know this, but I can't, knowing she's dependent on me, and she doesn't have any other people to talk to, or to support her in the way that I do. It brings me down, and I feel stuck with my life. I want to travel, go backpacking for half a year. She doesn't want me to, may be a month, but definitely not longer. One month, that's like an extended holiday. It could give me a taste, but it leaves no room for spontaneous actions. I long for freedom.

^{"Wind against makes the kite go up" - At Ruigoord, Amsterdam}

A few months later I'm on a festival, in a beautiful location, loaded with hippies and other free-spirited people. It's amazing, and it opens my eyes. Now I see that I can't help others at the cost of my own life, it would break me, and I would hate her for it and take her down with me. I need to follow my dreams, and she has learnt enough to stand on her own feet. If we're meant to be, our paths will once unite again, but not now, I have to choose for myself and go. End the relationship, quit my job, get rid of all my stuff, my apartment, and hit the road.

I return from the festival a new person. I know what I have to do, now I just have to make it happen. It scares me, but it's not going to stop me, not this time. Still need to prepare though; where do I want to go, how am I going to break up? It takes a few months, but then we get in a fight. The truth gets out, and I finally have the balls to break up, for real. In the train home, I feel sad for not feeling sad. I feel liberated, one step closer to my goal. Next summer, about half a year away should be possible, I think to myself.

^{At OHM2013 festival - Taken by Elmar}

Spring time, and I'm going to a hacker festival. I attend a talk about residential hackerspaces, and I'm interested. Now I know where to start! During the festival I speak with the guy who gave the talk, and we agree that I will visit the space in August, to get an actual impression.

August comes, and I'm on the plane to Lanzarote. The last time I was alone in a plane to go somewhere was in 2004. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. As it's pretty hot there in the summer, and residents of this hackerspace only seem to be there in from October until March, I will be alone in the space. A bit of a downer, but also the perfect opportunity to explore the island and make friends with the neighbors.

When I arrive at the space, it's already night. When I collect the key from the neighbor, I open the door and am greeted by cockroaches. Many cockroaches. It honestly scared the shit out of me, as I had never been exposed to these creatures before, and as I cannot find where to turn on the main power, I immediately go up to a bedroom, using my phone as a flashlight. Pfew, nothing here. I drop my stuff and go to sleep.

The next morning I spend catching and killing cockroaches. They are everywhere downstairs. Whenever I move a piece of furniture, a new batch appears, crawling away. Armed with a drinking glass and a piece of paper, I try to catch them, and whenever I got one, I drop them in a bottle that is filled with water and chlorine. When I call the guy later, he explains me that it's normal, as the house had been uninhabited for 3 months. He also explains me where to find the main power, the main water valve, and an Etherpad that contains all you need to know about the house. Also known as 'The Manual'.

The way the space was organized impressed me. For example, every day I'm supposed to read the water and electricity meter, and write it, together with the time and date, in an Excel sheet. There's many more tabs, for example to record the buying of foodstuffs, and the dates when residents arrive and leave. All these tabs are tied together, and the last tab shows all the costs added up as well as a calculation what a resident has to pay per day they're there, to break even.

^{The crowd at my DJ gig}

During my time there, I fell in love with the island. I rented a car for three days and drove everywhere. I made friends with one of the neighbors, who turned out to be friends with a nightclub owner, and after hearing me play some of my music, he let me play there one night, in exchange for a percentage of the revenue that night. It was a good night, and I earned a hundred euros. That was the last push I needed.

When I came back home, I walked into my boss' office and gave my one month's notice. He completely supported my decision and wished me good luck. I terminated my apartment, gave away most of my stuff, except all that I could take with me in my backpack, which were my laptop and some clothes. On my way I was...

This is the end of this part. I will close every part with a picture of myself, for the sake of showing my outer transformation.