A dog bite and a broken heart

Our family dogs, Rocky the Jack Russel and Anica the German Shepherd. I love them with all my heart.

Unfortunately I cannot say that about them all...

A dog bit me today
I've never been bitten before
A "dog bite virgin"
Not anymore

I was taking the trash out for my friend
But I had to pass through her neighbour's yard to get to the wheely bins

I was stupid
I had a flitting second of a thought that there was a dog
I dismissed the distant and vague memory of the dogs barking at me
She did not have a sign on her gate "beware of the dog"
You supposed to have those
Especially if your dog is of the human biting kind

I entered her yard with the bag of trash in my hand
There was this moment of silence and peace
And relief
Maybe the dogs aren't here
Maybe they're ok with me

Then suddenly they were there
In all their vicious glory
Two small jack russels
But aggressive as hell
Flaring yellow teeth and purple gums at me
They were barking and treading soil at my ankles
I thought they were just being protective and I turned my back on them and continued towards the bins

I grew up with jack russels
Somehow in the back of my mind I always thought jack russels just bark and pretend that they are going to bite

"die bliksem"
He actually bit me
Clenched his disgusting little jaw around my ankle
It started throbbing immediately
Now I was hobbling on one foot
My entire leg went numb from the pain and shock
The blood was running down my foot in one thick dark red stream
Flooding my flip flops
Seeping into the dry ground

The owner came running out and started screaming at me
I was using the bag of trash to keep the dog away
He was ready to tear at me
She was screaming at me
It's your fault! You not supposed to be in my yard
She grabbed the trash bag from me but I tried to hold onto it
And the dog almost got me again
I grabbed the bag of trash back
I clutched it for dear life
And swung it around me to ward of the dogs
It was my only protection
The two of them were suddenly a team
Barking and screaming at me

Her husband came out and tried to get to the dog but it kept dodging him and coming at me
All this time the owner was screaming at me
Finally the dog was closed up in the kitchen

I limped to the gate sobbing and shaking
The owner was yapping at me from behind
Screaming how it's all my fault
And how she is not putting the dog out
She followed me all the way into my friend's house
Screaming

I was sobbing
Blood was dripping all over my friend's kitchen floor
I sat down on a chair

And I looked up

What I saw in that moment was far worse than a bite wound in my heal

All this time my friend's ten year old little girl had been with me
And I was so consumed by my fear and shock and pain that I had forgotten about her

Her tiny body was jerking with fear and shock
Silent sobs gripped her chest so hard she could not find her breath
Her tears gushed down her sunburnt cheeks
Her lips tight at the edges as her mouth stretched open to try and contain her sobs
Her hands wrapped and wringing so tightly that her nails dug into her palms

I jumped up and held her close
Her body was so rigid that even my embrace did not soothe her
I sat her down on my lap
And she started crying
It's all my fault
It's all my fault

I held her close and told her to repeat after me
I know it is not my fault
I know it is not my fault

The was no way of consoling for her broken heart

Dear little girl may the God of our universe hold you close tonight
May he comfort you in your sleep
May he heal your tiny broken heart
May he whisk you up on his wings
May he protect you from all harm and fear and horror in this world
And the world to come