⏺My biggest insecurity: My blind eye.. Part 1 (Never opened-up about this before)

in life •  7 years ago  (edited)


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This is going to get a little deep. I haven't opened-up about this yet, but I am in-fact blind in my left eye.

Let me tell you my story. (Read till the end.)

I was 7 years-old when it happened. It was at pre-primary school, during our break-time. All the boys were throwing their caps up into the tall, nearby tree, thinking it was really fun.. Until their caps got stuck. How did they get them back down? Well, they thought it was a fun idea to throw stones into the tree to get them back down.

So my friend came to me, trying to show me how far he could throw his rock.. And then it happened.

The rock slipped from his hand when he tried to throw it, and it hit me in the left eye.

I blacked-out for a few seconds.. Couldn't really remember anything, then I gained consciousness again. My face was covered in blood, and I didn't know what emotion to feel. They took me to the reception, where I waited there for about 30 minutes for my mother to arrive. I was feeling incredibly weak. I went to the doctor where he started to examine my situation.

He couldn't come to any conclusions at that point. He just cleaned my eye out with a few ear-buds and that was that.
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Six months had gone-by since that moment. I was living fine, until we had an eye-testing day at school. I didn't know a thing about what was going to happen. When it came to my turn to read the letters through the glass, I told the lady she needed to open the latch, because I couldn't see anything. She was yelling at me to stop fooling around. I think she was in a big shock when she found-out the truth.

My parents were contacted, and I went back to the doctor. We did some formal eye-tests and examinations, and then the doctor told me the news.. I am blind in that eye. I wasn't too shocked, as I was already used to it. I didn't really feel much different.

Until he start doing more examinations, and advised that I have an operation done to remove the lens.

So that happened. I was in bed for 3 months after that.. My entire life had done a 360-turn. After that, my eye couldn't handle the trauma, so I had to do another 4 more operations. From that point, we just left it. Not thinking about the long-term trauma my eye would suffer, we just moved on.
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Now, why is this my biggest insecurity?

I actually nearly cried multiple times while writing this very article. All the lessons I have learnt, and all the struggle I, and my family have been through, it's been hectic.

It's amazing how something so simple in one person's perspective, can impact another person's life so much more differently. His name was Luke. That's the kid who through the stone. I remember his face, and other features so clearly. I remember his voice in the back of my head. I think one of the main reasons where my initial depression started was when he didn't even feel the need to ever apologize for what he had done. I don't even think he took me seriously when I tried to explain to him what happened a year later.. It had driven me insane for years.

From about age 12 I had to start wearing glasses. They didn't really suite my face, so I of course used to get mocked by my peers. What could I do but just suck it all up! I didn't have any other choice. This started to build up to my chronic depression. It lasted for about 5 years.

I have realized that this story can be very, very long, still so many details.. I hope you have even gotten this far. I will make Part 2 in the next post. Stay tuned!

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Keep Steem'N Bro - Speaking from the Heart is the way forwards

Always bro! Thanks for that.

It takes a lot of courage to talk to strangers about your biggest pain, in order to encourage them that their own problems might feel small compared to this story. And yet you are here having already a great audience and people who look up to you. If I had instagram I would follow you there, too.

Of course I can't wait to read the rest of the story. And of course i will upvote and resteem part 2 as well. I see great things for your future. The best motivational speakers are always the people who suffered the most in their lives and were able to overcome that.

My dude. Thanks so much for that! Really awesome to here these kind words. Yeah, I made a decision to be as transparent as I could. That way, there's no holding back for me, and less questions for my audience :)

I really appreciate your support, man. Super awesome. Totally agreed.. If I look at any of the top motivational speakers out there, they all went through the most hectic conditions I could think of.

Talk soon brother. Part two coming later today.

Wow. It is astonishing how quickly life can change in an instant. How horrible you had to go through the surgeries and all the uncomfortableness (sp?) of it all. Hopefully you'll share why it's an insecurity in part 2, because you don't strike me an insecure person.

So true hey! Life can change for us so rapidly, we will be left behind if we are not sharp enough.

SP? What do you mean :P

Yeah it was tough, still is sometimes, but hey.. It happens to the best of us :)

Well, I mean, I realized many people out there seem like their lives are so 'perfect', but in reality, we are all human. We all have the same emotions from time to time. Everyone has insecurities, I'm sure of it. I suppose it's how we choose to deal with our circumstances that determines the person we become!

Thanks for your comment my friend :) Sorry for the delayed response.. Been really ill. I will go and reply to your part-2-comment now :) Talk soon.

That's one emotional yet insipiring post you got here bro.. Respect that you have the strength to share it with strangers like us.. Many of us do feel insecure about certain thing and most of the time we don't feel like sharing them.. Now I feel like i should share mine too.. Lol..

Thank you for that brother!

Well you know, that's my vision here. I need to lead by example, be the first to jump-in to the deep end, but eventually I want us all to be swimming together. In other words, I want my comments sections' to be a place where people can speak freely what is on their mind, and not be judged.

For us to inspire and motivate one another. To uplifts each other's lives! That's the ultimate vision I have here.

Thanks for stopping by bro. This is just part 1. Part 2 is up :) Talk soon.

Bro... I am too in my left eye lol... seriously. I was born like that, but It never affected me. I still ended up playing football at the college level. And I can shoot pretty well 😂.

Ey! Snap haha :D

Well, having only one eye means our perception of depth is in many cases pretty terrible :D But at the same time, shooting is quite accurate. I am also quite decent at shooting haha :D

Thanks for stopping by. Part 2 coming up. Talk soon.

yeah its good you don't let it affect you anymore. I don't know any different so I cant complain.

<3 Sooo inspiring that you are very transparent and you have the courage to tell us things that most people wouldn't. I tip my hat off to you! Gonna check the chat soon too, haven't been on it!

Ah I appreciate that my friend :) Hope you're well!

Yeah, you're going to have quite a read when you get back into that chat :D I kinda let loose lol!

Talk soon.

Wow, it's crazy to think someone who can be so happy and motivated for the future, could go through so much in the past. I'm glad you overcame your depression and past issues. It's really motivating and inspiring to others that you opened up about all this and it shows how real you really are. Even though you struggled through all this, you managed to become the amazing, fun and energetic person you are today that a lot of people admire. x

Also on a more positive note, I'm happy to announce that I'm your 100's upvote. 😊

Thank you, Kayleigh :)

It was a rough-patch.. But I see it as a test from life. Many of us don't often know how to get out of our bad situations, and I just want to send the message that no matter what it is, with enough will power it can, and will be over-come!

I am also trying to encourage others to not worry so much about their insecurities. Everyone has them, yet we are all ashamed to be open about them. That is more depressing than the actual insecurities themselves!

Thanks for stopping by :) Glad to see you here! Talk soon.

It's a sad story. I hope that does not handicap you a lot in your daily life. And keep this in mind. Difficult road often lead to beautiful destinations. Always stay positive and forgive others. " You are free to make any decision you wish. But you are not free from the consequences of that decision.".

Thanks for this! Don't worry, I am used to most of it by now. It's like being broke, when you are used to the rich-life, then becoming broke is much more dramatic than being used to the lifestyle :)

Same with my eye. I'm used to the pain, and the ridicule, but I am grateful it has made me immune to a lot more pain :)

Part 2 coming up soon! Talk then.

My friend, life gets crazy sometimes. I really appreciated reading the whole pos. You seem to be a great guy. Don't ever let anyone put you down. It is incredible how you managed to forgive that kid, who's never had the courage to come to you and say sorry. And I bet he was and still is sorry.
Keep it up buddy! You are awesome.

I appreciate that brother. I actually split that original post in half, so this was part 1. Part 2 is coming up shortly! You kind of already read both I think haha! But anyways talk soon.

I really enjoy it that you guys are paying such close attention. Really awesome!

I feel you brother.. I was born with a dead optical nerve on my left eye.. I'm able to see only 20% with it.
Blind as a bat.

So I've relied on one eye for my whole life.

Damn brother. Hectic stuff. At least you don't have the physical pain then hey! Sorry to hear that.. But hey, we can only become stronger!

Talk soon. Part 2 coming up soon.

You are an amazing soul - looking forward to part 2 - I understand you are insecure about this and so sorry you had to go through times of bullying over glasses, but at the end nobody can take away what you can offer to this world and this platform .

Wow thank you for those beautiful words! Really awesome.

Yeah, a lot has happened, but at the end of the day, we fail, we learn (hopefully), and we grow. That's the only way to really become the person you wish to be in the end.. Thanks for this.

Talk soon :)

Shocking but still a real-life story. What happened to you was horrible dude! But yes, You did the right thing which is forgiving, that is the only way you can free yourself from the real pain. Soul pain is harder to handle than phisycal pain. I'm really happy that you were able to forgive Luck. Wear your scars like armor don't feel insecure anymore pal! Cheers!

Brother, I don't know why I wasn't following you already, but I am now :)

Thanks for your support towards my content. Yes, absolutely! This is a real story. Nothing made-up, that's why I believe it can truly impact people compared to just an assumption.

It took a while, but eventually it's like I had no real choice but to just let go, you know?

Part 2 coming up. Talk soon.

It's ok mate. I follow you because I like your content not because I expect you to follow me back but thanks! waiting for Part 2 bro. Happy weekend!

It is not easy to talk about our sorrows with others, I appreciate that you've shared it! I'm sorry what happened, but certainly understand now because I think you're so cool! I think that based on your experiences and struggles you've shaped the character and the value that you have!

Thank you @milagros! I appreciate that. I think that happens for the best of us.. We just need to grow stronger every time we get knocked down, because eventually, the knock-down will not make even an impact anymore.

Talk again soon.

I feel very deeply for you. My son was born with bad eyes, and he has suffered a lot of ridicule. He squints terribly without his glasses, and with his glasses he could of course not do any manly team sports. However, he has learnt to embrace his disadvantage, and "styled" himself accordingly. He is a handsome young man living with a disadvantage, and "nothing's gonna stop him now!" I wish the same for you.

I am sorry about your son.. I completely relate to him. It's a cruel world out there, with many heartless people. We have one of two choices, either eat, or be eaten. However, that doesn't mean if you eat, that you may not share. That's just my opinion. We need to share, and we can all be happy. Out doing all the wrong.

Thanks for your comment :) Part 2 is up too now! Talk soon.

That is cool when I was in primary school I got my leg stuck in a playground. I couldn't get it out for like 2 hours it was rough but then my teacher helped me get it out. I was like 7.

How's that cool? :D Haha I suppose we all take things differently lol.

That's hectic though. Luckily the teacher came eventually.. Jeez imagine no one knew where you were!

Talk soon.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Accept my deepest sympathy friend thank GOD it wasnt worse than this,good to know you have been able to overcome those trying and depressing moments.Big ups bro the sky is your starting point,post upvoted,and resteemed.. Much love @detycoon

Hey my brother! Hope you're doing great :) I have replied to your messages on Steemit Chat, by the way!

Thank you for that! Very true. As much as the situation of my eye went far out of it's normal extent, my conditions could have still been far worse. I am so very grateful for that. We are breathing, we have potential, and that's everything we really need to live our dreams.

Part 2 coming right up, talk soon.

Yea thanks Zane I got your chat message,greatful heart.Have a geat week ahead take care

Great stuff brother. If you need any more help, you are welcome to ask on chat :)

Talk soon. Enjoy your week!

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Absolutely agree that not all life changes happen suddenly - in fact as you state, quite the opposite - most happen gradually, just a tiny bit at a time, every single day. As long as you are aware of this, and make micro-adjustments to improve yourself, you will look back a few years later amazed at your progress!

But of course, there's always - always - more to improve!

Upvoted ;)

Well said! So true. Sometimes we are making leaps of progress, but we don't realise it since it's not the main focus-filter.. But we just need to sometimes remind ourselves that the grass can always be greener on the other side if we just stay positive.

Thanks for that! Part 2 coming up. Talk soon.

Yesss I'm all about staying positive! Of course that doesn't "fix" everything - ie, if you have some serious issue/challenge, then sometimes you need to face this head on. But that's another topic for another day ;)

In this case, yes staying positive is good, as well as continuing to make "minor course corrections" along the way. A good analogy for this I've heard about is sailing a boat from one point to another. As long as you know the final destination (what you want to achieve), you can make minor corrections along the way as long as you're steering in the correct general direction and keep sailing (ie, never give up!) you will reach where you want to go :)

Definitely agree with that!

I think having the attitude to always have a positive outlook on the situation is important. Like you said, sometimes we just need to face head-on. That's why I don't think happiness is the cure to all problems. Sometimes anger is a great tool, if it can motivate you into action :)

So true! Jim Rohn says my favorite quote: "Don't ask for better winds, just set better sails"!

So much truth in that.

By the way, part 2 is out :) Talk soon.

ohh yeah Jim Rohn, I think I must've heard that originally from Tony Robbins, that would make sense (Rohn being his original mentor but you may have already known that). Yep, nothing "negative" about anger if it's used in the proper way!

Ay I actually am a huge fan-boy of both Jim and Tony.. So yeah I did haha. I was surprised that you knew though! Super awesome :D

I am guessing you're also into personal development? Have you ever done Network Marketing?

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

haha well nice meeting you here.. yeah I love learning about personal dev, improving yourself in various ways etc.

Not really, although wayyy back in the day of early internet marketing, I did some JVs and shared email list promotion stuff (as a teenager).

Really moving story, takes a lot of courage to share this with strangers.
Really sorry to hear about your accident, it must have been a difficult experience and taking its toll on you.
And the lack of understanding and regret from your friend, must have been frustrating.
But I think forgiveness is a healing tool, to get rid of that burden.
Thank you for sharing this post, you are so amazing and I have so much respect for you and admire you. 💖
Upvoted Resteemed talk soon

Thank you my friend.

Agh it's alright hey! It happens to the best of us.. I have grown so much from what has happened. I can safely say that I would not be the same person as I am today, if I never lost my eye.

Part 2 is up :) Talk soon.

Any time sweetie 😊 I believe that an experience like that changes you. I fell on my head down a latter on a boat when I was 10.
I got a concussion so bad that I was totally blind for 1-2 weeks.
I asked the doctor to turn on the light cause it was pitch black.... and then he said it was on and very bright.... I got so scared, cryed for days.
Still think about it when I se a blind person.
Was they born blind or after an accident like me? I was so lucky to get my sight back.
I will check part 2 in 😁
I have a new sky post from today, check it out when you have the time.
Talk soon

That's a crazy story!

Wow, you have to fall pretty hard to lose sight hey! So blessed that you got it back. Really hectic.

I will take a look my friend :)

Yes my head was so swollen and most on the inside, but it was scary. Yes I'm truly blessed, and also for meeting you my dearest friend.
You are a blessing, and incredible the way you raised your self.
Talk later

Thank you for being so sweet :) Same for you my friend.

Anything for you my friend 😊 stay Awesome as you are

This was an amazing story, besides the accident you can tell by that you really had to came trough a lot, and how hards things could be when you are a kid. Hope you are doing fine today, and the most important thing, you did learn some lessons there. Wish you the best buddy, and nowadays glasses are so into fashion, so im sure you are great with that.

Thank your for that!

Yeah man it's been quite the journey, but hey.. It happens to the best of us :)

Yeah the style of the newer glasses today are much better. I actually want to get myself a pair of glasses to computer work now.

Thanks for your comment. Part 2 is up. Talk soon.

First of all, I am so sorry to hear about this accident brother. It was indeed an unfortunate event. I couldn't even imagine what you had gone through all this time. You have all my sympathy for this. Secondly, the forgiveness is the best thing you can give to someone, actually forgiveness always works for you first then for someone else. With forgiveness, your pain gets reduced. You feel free from burden, kind of liberated. You have indeed gone through much in your life my friend. Not everyone is capable of bearing such pain, day by day, everyday. You're one of the kindest man I have ever seen. God bless you brother. I had a huge respect for you in my heart, but after hearing about your pain and struggle, I, now, respect you more.
I am here for you if you ever need anything brother :) I just hope you get all the success :)

Thank you for that brother. I appreciate that :) It was a rather (very) hectic time of my life, still sort of is, but we just need to make the best out of our situations!

Wow my dude, that was very nice to hear! Thank you for that. The thing is, the only way to deal with hectic situations is to change yourself. Because life will not change it's course.. We need to learn to adapt. It's pretty much just like a 'eat or get eaten' situation.

Survival of the fittest. Some of us have disadvantages at first, but it's about what we do after that, that really determines how things play out.

Sorry for the delayed reply.. Was super caught-up, but still going to reply to each and every person!

Talk soon.

Really good post bro. Sounds like you are making progress and that's the best thing. I hope you get to a point where you are fully at peace with everything in your life.

Thank you my dude! Yeah I mean, I hope everyone can get to that point of complete peace. TO be honest, it feels very distant, but I am sure it is possible when you just completely stop worrying about things in life.

Thanks for defending my in that other comment haha! Beast!

Part 2 is up :) I also gave you a follow. Talk soon.

Great job thanks for shairing @fkofficials

Thank you :)

ok

Thanks for stopping by brother!

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:P

It's nice to read, I hope you write it soon more :)

Awesome man. Glad you enjoyed it. I wrote Part 2 already. You can go see it.

Talk soon.

Thank you!! and yes I go look :)

I actually nearly cried multiple times while writing this very article.

I feel you man. I read every word of it and I can feel the pain inside you. That boy who threw the stone didn't even apologize! What a dick! He probably scratched it off his head so he won't feel guilty.

Give me his address and I will punch him in the eye! LOL! I'm kidding! Well, I guess what I can say is that, "Revenge is a dish best served cold!" Show him how successful you are so he will feel bad about himself and envy you. :-)

This post has received a 2.02 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @enazwahsdarb.

Hello, realy good and nice photo!

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

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Man I'm about your first photo! Rocks and you realy cool!

Hey brother. Regardless of what you say, I still appreciate your comment :)

I would just give a bit of my opinion.. You have 4 Rep.. Maybe it's a sign that you need to just start posting more detailed comments? I don't mind at all.. I mean, I always make sure I make a decent comment, that's focused on what the person is writing about, but yeah.

Just know that you can revive your Rep pretty easily. You just need to raise the quality of your actions :) If you want some help, we can help get you to 40+ Rep in no time!

Talk soon.