Better me - stronger me

in life •  8 years ago 

I used to be socially awkward.

I'd worry what people think by the way I walk, look, talk, etc.

When I'd walk, I'd look at my hands and arms to ensure there isn't some sort of screw-up. I felt rude if I even look into anyone's direction, so I tried to avoid looking at people at all costs. I'd also get really embarrassed for no reason if someone talked to me, like I was doing something wrong.
Over time I was thankfully able to overcome this problem, yet it is easy to take for granted how blessed I have been to have naturally overcome this awkwardness I'd been crippled with.
The mechanism of how I changed, in a way, has a kind of a negative slant to it, to be honest ;s I had to move to another country, learn a different language, lose all friends, adapt to nuances in cultural norms & expectations, etc - Basically it forced me to grow up & mature =FAST=

So as I was going through this, I gradually realized (I'm extremely perceptive.. and intuitive), that almost everyone was basically sheep. So, why should I feel scared, intimidated by their presence, their potential limited, ill-informed judgment..? I occurred to me I know better than most of them do. Their potential impressions and opinions mean a lot less once it is understood how vast their lack of insight and information is.
This newfound "knowledge" (or attitude/belief system I should say) empowered me. I found myself newly emboldened with such confidence, especially among strangers (who know the least about me, so of course they have the highest chance of being wrong, in anything they might assume or think). I was forced (by the environment / culture shock) to confront my awkwardness, & my subconscious found this solution.

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