Spring Cleaning and Reflection

This past week has been an interesting exploration into my past. I dug through artifacts from my time in high school. I was doing a spring purge. These distant memories came back to me and with a cascade of emotion. These are people that used to be a big part of my life, and no longer are. And being one not much for expressing myself, or often choosing to hide from my feelings, I never told them how much they meant to me. I made a mental note that I would do it in the near future.

But back to these artifacts. One last reflection, a last moment of appreciation, and into the garbage it went. These are things that have just been sitting abandoned in a drawer until now, and I don't want to keep clutter around. I took a few pictures of them in case I want to revisit the memory... of the memory. Among those I photographed, I stumbled upon some very kind words. Words that touched me because their author probably understood me better than I understood myself. It's rather personal so I'm hesitant to share. Okay, maybe a very small excerpt...

The essence of [@eonwarped]...is that you exist not only in your own plane of being but in a dimension utterly removed from the one I know best...

Ok I'm leaving out a lot of good bits... But that's going to be just for me. Some things about creativity, and being sometimes incomprehensible. Things I've heard mentioned in my time here as well, what do you know!

I also found that I kept a diary at some point of when I went travelling to Europe. Took a few interesting pictures of select passages and tossed that, too. It's got a nice binding, and cover photo too:

Apparently, I wrote down that during this time travelling, my brother remarked that "I was too happy" in general. Guess that's a good problem to have.

I want to wrap this up by presenting a poem I had written and folded up. There's quite a bit of context for it, but I'm not ready to share all of it just yet (maybe never). I just thought to myself... My, it's quite creative. I don't know if the poem is any good, but it certainly got me partially to recall my emotional state at that time. I'm sure one can guess... Lightly edited, it is below.

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Wind the Steed, Feather the Chariot

Cast into the world,
In a beat of a wing,
Carried by the wind,
Spoiled like a king.

On a feather I reclined,
Riding smoothly without worry.
The sights of that ride,
Now forgotten-- all a flurry.
For the rain did wash them
And the feather did soak.

In a foreign land
I could only continue walking,
Dragging the lifeless lump of the past.

Nothing a guide,
Everything a fear.
Inching along,
Hoping for a lift.

Illusion upon illusion,
So crushing upon myself.
Yearning, shaking others for help
To find nothing
But a wall.

Labyrinth of the world,
In its midst I scrambled.
Learning, adapting, fighting disillusionment.

I peered at the lump beside me.
How I wish I could return!

And now I find you.
I reach out, and
You respond.

Lightened, I feel so uplifted
So that as by some phenomenon,
The feather restores.
Together, leaving the past behind,
The wind carries us.
So gently, so kind.

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