I Don’t Like People

_{Nothing personal, and of course I like You.}

I say I don't like people, a lot, and nobody believes me. It’s one of the first thing I say when getting to know a new person, so they know that I’m not the girl to go to a music festival with them for the whole weekend, or hang around in a group of friends all day every day. People are draining, and I’m not used to being around them for more than a few hours at a time. Sometimes I get into a social butterfly mode, party and talk to everyone, but I need a few days to recharge after that.

Even though I dislike majority of people, I need them too, even though I don’t want to have anything to do with them.

Here is the thing, I need the weird, awkward, stupid and infuriating interactions for my art. Though I don’t like to call myself an artist, but it’s the only label that suits this purpose. People inspire me, most often without knowing it. I think a lot of them would get mad for me using them in some of my work. It’s often the negatives that I notice and make a mental note on using later. I get a feeling of twisted satisfaction knowing that when I have to deal with a person I don’t like, I can later use the experience for my work and make money out of that. So thank you to all the idiots who have tried to bring me down or make my life harder, you are adding fuel to my fire and giving me power.

Even though I mainly photograph nature and myself, and write about my life, other people give me ideas. Most of the time, I hide where the inspiration comes from, and it’s often a collection of observations and experiences I pack into one. I grab onto little pieces from songs, book titles, a half a sentence and everyday life. I always look, listen and stalk people, in a somewhat nice way.

I just don’t want to come too close, I’d rather observe from afar. People are a lot more interesting if I can observe them from a distance and not get to a too close of a contact. I guess I like a bit of mystery. Most people are really boring once you get to know them a little, and I don’t care for boring.

Every now and then I get into situations and conversation I’d rather not have, but I don’t run away either because I know it will be fuel for my fire later on. I might even do a lot of things knowing that there might be drama later on, but I am quite calculated on those situations. People think I do rash decisions and don’t think how my actions effect the future, when in reality I have already calculated three steps ahead.

_{I think I could be really good at playing chess.}