I remember very well when I got sick. Because I remember taking this picture.
It's 11 November 2014.
Dating Bianca made me nervous as hell. I never really dated before. I couldn't handle it very well.
When she was with me I was fine but when she was not all I could think about was her.
It gave me stress like you wouldn't believe.
It was nothing like playing World of Warcraft and talking with my friends.
I was becoming a nervous wreck and I could not snap out of it.
I lost the ability to enjoy anything.
I felt a constant pressure in my body. Day in day out for months.
(none of this was Bianca's fault, btw, it was me working myself up for no reason)
On top of that, I started to get sick.
I noticed that I had to go to the toilet more and more frequently. Small amounts like I was an old man.
I was already a mess. And now my 'equipment' was failing me too.
I never felt so miserable in my life.
Picture of me back then
I was diagnosed with acute prostatitis by a doctor and they gave me antibiotics. I would be better in a week.
It didn't help at all.
On the plus side, Bianca and I were getting closer.
On Christmas, she told me she had nowhere to go (her host family had gone away for Christmas and she was alone in their big house in Rotterdam).
I asked my family if Bianca could celebrate Christmas with us. They said yes.
I turned out to be a good decision by me because later Bianca told me that inviting her for Christmas showed her I was for real.
We went from dating to a relationship not long after.
I talked to her about the stress I was feeling and she said she had experience with this herself and that I needed to see someone.
I considered talking to someone to help you fix your mind an utter defeat so I refused at first.
4 weeks later I went anyway.
I went to see a lady at our local clinic. I liked her straight away. She was direct and to the point. (I was expecting it to be way more 'mystical' )
It only took 3 sessions to get rid of my problems. I can't believe it was that simple. I felt like an idiot for not going sooner.
The best way to describe what she did was to imagine that my mind was on a constant loop. And she pushed me out of it.
And low and behold over time. My frequent peeing problems started to disappear too.
I finally figured out what caused all of it. Stress. Just Stress. Caused by my own mind.
The whole experience made me appreciate mind doctors a lot more. And I will never fault anyone for seeing one.
It thought me a big lesson about the power of the mind and how it can control you. I also decided to never ever let anything like that happen again.
The whole experience changed me.
I became a lot more open about how I feel and I am way more clear about what I want and don't want.
Also, any sign of stress I fix straight away by figuring out what is causing it and doing something about it.
Being in control is great. But it does take work. It's not always as easy as it sounds.
Bianca and I had a fantastic year. But it was coming to an end. An au pair can only stay in the Netherlands for a year.
She used to cry when we talked about it.
We had to something and we did....
End of part 4.
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Incredible story and thank very much for sharing. Stress is no joke and I feel at the root of many problems people face today. We all encounter this enemy and learning how to deal with it on a personal basis is vital to over coming it. I really like how you explained it as "a constant loop" going on in your mind. That makes perfect sense to me. Until we break our habitual cycle we've created we cannot overcome it. I liken it to Einstein's theory of insanity about doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Being able to pinpoint the issue and then fixing it as you described is the key.
Can't begin to say how great this post is brother and also love hearing how your and Bianca's love story progressed in the early days to where you are now. This is a post everyone should read b/c stress and how to deal with it affects us all. It might be our #1 enemy in this corporate, money driven world we live in today. Resteemed
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Thank you man. And it is indeed a loop. A constant feeling of anxiety or stress that has manifested in your body and you don't know how to shut it off anymore. Until someone shows you how. It was a good experience in the end.
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Yeah. Stress is a silent and messy killer. Stress caused me to gain a lot of weight as I worked from 2003 to 2009. I've lost that weight as I changed what I do and got rid of that stress. I was sick and miserable and felt helpless. Stress made me quit a lot of jobs as I didn't see the point in sacrificing my overall health for a miserable pay. I wouldn't stress out even for a lot of money. It's just not worth it.
Now, I can't say I'm free of stress. I'm not. But Like you said @exyle I see what's causing it and how much there is and I try and take care of that. It's not always easy but I try and do my best and I am a lot happier.
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Stress is the cause of many diseases like blood pressure, diabetes etc. My aunt had a paralysis attack 2 years ago and the reason was she took too much stress, never been able to walk since then!
Good to see that you came out of that situation and living a good and healthy life! Stay blessed!
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Sorry to hear man. I can share a similar story. My father used to work a load of hours. Often day and night shift averaging 3 hours of sleep per night. 2 years back he developed a rare form of cancer but luckily he underwent surgery on time and he's been clean since. Stress is probably one of the worst things.
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Good to know that he recovered and yes, stress is the root cause of all diseases, we should all try to live a relaxed and stress-free life.
God bless you and your father!
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Man, I'm sorry to read that about your aunt. And thanks. Stress is awful. Getting rid of it is a great feeling.
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Nice story, looking forward to reading the rest of it. Can you tell a bit more about how the doctor took you out of the loop? What did she say to make you realise it could be done?
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First I was very open with her. No lies, only truth. Second, she started to reflect my own thoughts back at me with a series of why? question. She obviously knew the right questions to ask, these people are professionals. I realised that my stressful thoughts didn't make much sense. After 3 sessions I felt I had gotten back control over my thoughts and the at the same time the feeling of stress disappeared.
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Great job by her and yourself then. I am glad that stuff is behind you now then ;)
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I can totally relate to your situation. I went through a similar phase where i was frequenting the bathroom, at least 8 times at night, and double that during the day. I remember going to see a physician, and unlike others who simply want to diagnose you or prescribe you something, he was incredibly gentle and empathetic. The first thing he asked me after checking I was not diabetic, was if I was under any stress. He actually put his pen down, turned his chair towards me, and said, 'Talk to me. Don't worry, whatever you tell me in here is confidential.' So when I opened up to him, and he told me whatever I was experiencing was due to stress and nothing more. I already had a feeling, but sometimes it helps to hear from a professional who cares, especially as I don't like doctors!
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Thank you for this. It's nice too know that I'm not the only one that had this :)
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My pleasure. It's always nice to know that :)
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Stress can affect your body, thoughts, feelings and your behavior. When I'm stressed it causes me anxiety. One thing that helps me a lot is exercise.
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Exercise helps loads indeed.
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wow both of you are made for one another and look so awesome and beautiful together...
I think that this is a great story of love which will always end well because it is true love. Confidence is everything indeed and am sure that you will not lose it again....Also see my last 2 posts on how to use startegic management tool to build your strengths and eliminate your weaknesses, am sure that it will be helpful too. Wish you more success
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hahahah nice pic
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Thank you, I like that picture a lot even though it's a bit older :)
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You are welcome the picture looks so beautiful 😃 wish you both more success and love
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I like learning more about how a person @exyle deals with an issue. The Best Part of this is the Loving Relationship that you and Bianca have now. You really make my day when you talk about the Reality that so many people would just keep to themselves. It helps so many others when you open up, because they may be going through the same issues looking for answers. STEEM on Brother.
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Thank you for saying that man.
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Well, I waited, I waited for the continuation and again at the most interesting place it all ended:)
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:)
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Confidence is one of the best, if not the best, thing to have if you're looking for a partner. I gained mine over the years as I matured mentally and started to realize what my life is worth.
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God bless you friend, no doubt that stress can influence your body, musings, sentiments and your conduct. When I'm stressed it causes me tension. One thing that causes me a considerable measure is work out. I also love hearing how your and Bianca's love story progressed in the early days to where you are now. looking forward to reading the rest of it, well this series how to gain confidence is no doubt a great help for us in which you describe your life experiences it is very helpful too how you dealt with the challenges and overcome them. have a cheerful week ahead my friend, thanks for sharing
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Stress sucks indeed man. It can have a huge impact indeed. You have great week too!
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Getting free from stress is a matter of reconditioning our mind, which will help us break the moment and reinvigorate ourselves. conversing with people also help to trick our mind to start thinking about a different thing that may bring happiness to us. Many people find themselves in same situation do you think using same approach can help them break the moment?
This post recieved an upvote from theheralds. If you would like to recieve upvotes from theheralds on all your posts, simply FOLLOW@https://steemit.com/@theheralds
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well written
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Sometimes you need the help from another to break the circle.
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very nice post @exyle, i really like your ability that how you able to overcome your stress and anxiety, no doubt when you like something and then have a fear of losing it makes you gain stress and it's no doubt very bad for health, you also makes a wise decision to make contact with mind doctor in time, so her tips and medicine helps you fight against that stress and anxiety and no doubt human mind is so powerful that if someone ables to learn it's use he can overcome any sort of problem, wish you both all the best, stay blessed.
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Is the whole experience tougher than Archimonde?
This series of stories posted on how you gained your confidence will come in handy one day when you tell stories to your kids.
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Did you make a sneaky wow reference ;) I hope by the time I have kids I will still remember these stories and STEEM will be big :)
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God bless you my frien. Confident is important but try constance and discipline that improve your life.
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So true, thanks for sharing.
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In my opinion it is not only stress but also love play a wonderful game with you. Yes true love acts as a virus which effects the whole body of the both parties. You already acknowledged that Bianca had also effected from that. Enjoy friends don't take it like stress, the feeling is heavenly so live it. Please give my love to your sweet princess, stay blessed friends.
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@exyle - Oh Sir, it's a nice story. You had stress & you are lucky, that's why you had Bianca Sir. God bless both of you & love to hear your romantic love story <3 :*
+W+ [UpVoted & ReSteemed]
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I've been there and it's no fun at all......great that Bianca stood by you and you got help. I followed so I can hear more of your story!
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Very interesting story and seeing someone to help you get beyond the problem was a wise decision. I am a firm believer that if something isn't working get it fixed as soon as possible whether it be the kitchen sink or some health issue.
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I kept smiling reading this post through. Sometimes I believe we overpower and overburden our brain capability with anxiety and thoughts that could be avoided. Honestly I've been in such a scenario before when you know you are both uncomfortable and can't figure out exactly what the problem is at the same time. Some solutions to our problems don't look like it until we give it a try. Mind doctors are great indeed. Accurate understanding of self psychology is also important. Thanks for sharing this. It's a mind boost for me.
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Thank you!
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ye we know what bianca now with you, so we got a spoiler :)
usually all problems starts from our mind and diseases , so its great what you are not so stressed any more .
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sssshhhh.... :)
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Your brain is like a muscle. It can be trained. But unlike muscles, you can’t tell if you have a cramp. Sometimes you need a little help from someone to massage it out with you.
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Well said!
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Lovely. I used to doubt Psychologist too but from your story am having a change of heart.
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I remember that period very well. It was a very difficult time for you and I was so glad you took the step to see someone to help you to overcome this terrible period. I'm so happy for you that you have a real companion in Bianca. I love you both very much!
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This series is amazing where you share your life experiences it is very helpful too how you dealt with the challenges and overcome them thanks for sharing this @exyle
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Omg you're so honest, that's amazing! I really enjoyed reading and am glad that you could get rid of your problem. There's a saying "it's all in your head" - very suitable in this case. It's so sad that many people take a negative view of visiting a psychologist because it can help a lot and shouldn't be refused in advance. As you said "I felt like an idiot for not going sooner" - I guess that's what most people think after finally accepting the needed help. Wish you all the best, stay confident! :)
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I was negative about it at first. But have changed my opinion about it completly. Thank you for your nice comment.
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One and a half years ago I had the same opinion but then realised that there's nothing negative about it. I don't how people handle this topic where you live but I guess over here it's really kinda notorious :/
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God bless with you good health... one of the reason of stress is also keeping things to yourself which i do :(
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My young friend,
Life curves. This is part 4, but the ending is not in sight. Live in the strength you have gained, but anticipate change. Control over coming change is an illusion. Be very happy today!
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I'm very happy today man!
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Absolutely right sir ! stress = desease = mental health problem = bad health = die !
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stress is a killer but with positive mind and bit of determination we all can overcome it easily. All are in our mind, and it can be control easily. Need to meditate a little and that will helps us a lot. Nice post
Cheers!
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after reading it doesn't seem easy at all to me you have gone through the toughest phase of your life but how you handled things was something to seek and learn from :)
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your emotional connect gave you the inner strength at that time that was beautiful to read you are a very strong man :)
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Well buddy what has happened in previous i will talk about that you seems to be more better than ever now quite an inspiration to many i wish for your good health :)
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You fought with the stress many people gave up their and that's where the strength plays an important role you had the baddest time that time suffering from many things but glad to know about it :) how you conquer it
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Thank you for sharing what happened to you because of stress. Many people don't believe it and suffer on in silence. Good on you for getting help. There is nothing wrong with admitting you need help. And see. It worked beautifully and gave you more confidence to handle things. Kudos to you.
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huuuh, that was worth reading and spending the time! Waiting now for the outcome - so close by (Germany) I want to know, it the two of you managed to get things settled... hope you did!!!! Cheers from the seven mountains in Germany
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A feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something.
A feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something.
The feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true!
Nice Post...
Thanks for sharing; from @raviraj
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I see a lot of people identifying with stress in the comment section. I think it's another big fault of our society. Nobody teaches us how to handle it ( I mean in school for example), they expect us to just magically figure it out. Well most of us at some point don't, and it ends up affecting our lives in a big way.
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Glad to learn you got better - takes a lot of courage to realize that the mind is just real as any other part of our body, and even more courage to snap out of the "loop" no matter how hard it seems. Mental pain and distress is just as real as physical pain - perhaps more inescapable, too. And to be relentlessly positive through such a hard time and growing closer to the one...
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The best thing happen was you made it, you survive @exyle...
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Hello thanks for share is a wonderfull reallity, how the people can change and improve with a little of help and love.
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Thank you very much for sharing inspiring content.
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This post received a 5% vote by @mrsquiggle courtesy of @thinknzombie from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ). Join us in Discord.
Upvoting this comment will help support @minnowsupport.
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All the Best for you friend
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@exyle,
Wow that would be the part 3 of great love story! Now it's awaiting time for the next part! Hope you will write it soon!
Cheers~
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don't worry i hope that will you success today or tomorrow
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behind your confidence bianca play a role with her best, thanksless job done and thanks for sharing with us.
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The mind is a complicated thing...
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having a relentless pain in my neck here last 8 day's...spreading to my shoulders hope I get rid of that also asap...
good to hear you we're back on track as fast as it came...
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Awwwwwwww love the story. Need part 5 NOW
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what a lovely black-white picture of you and her!
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Listening to our emotions is on the list of things we should be more focused at when teaching kids... Most important things are often very simple... Being aware of our emotions gives so much control on ourselves ! Something we probably both gonna remember our whole live
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Hi @exyle! I came by to your blog to see what you've been up to and saw your post... It's, unfortunately, a prevalent problem. I'm so glad you got help.
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You both look pretty together :)
and getting rid of the problem was sure the best thing
and liked the Life story till now ,got to learn a lot of things from you buddy :)
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Sweet story
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I can understand this man, I have been so sick from June 2016 till January 2017. Stress and depression was killing me. I left my job which where I was so well remunerated, dream job I can say!
I managed to get out of this period thanks to the support of my family and also a lot of meditation!
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Lovely. I used to doubt Psychologist too but from your story am having a change of heart
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good luck everyone.
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