The one time I insulted a baby and I didn't even know it.steemCreated with Sketch.

in life •  8 years ago  (edited)

Six weeks ago, my sister had a baby. Enough reason for my friends to remind me once more of the one time I insulted a baby, without knowing why, when I visited the UK when I was much younger. They always have a lot of laughs about this story so I decided to put it to paper.


baby
This is not the baby in question. This is my sister's little boy. I am a proud uncle!


The early internet was a great place to be. I met a lot of amazing people on there and some of them I still speak to today. Most of them live in the UK. I’m 32 now and I met some of these guys when I was 14. I have known them for more than half my life.

Back then the internet wasn’t filled with the crazies you have today. Nobody thought about internet safety and the people I speak of were much older than me. Like 15 years or more. But back then it didn’t matter. We were just nerds sharing the same interests.

One of the interest I had back then was downloading games and movies. And I wasn’t one of those peer-to-peer Kazaa noobs (that was frowned upon). No, I was in the FXP scene. Hacking pubstros and I always had access to the newest stuff. Great times.

My other interest was gaming. I played a lot of Counterstrike. One day one of the guys said he was playing this new game called Urban Terror. A mod for Quake3. It was amazing, he proclaimed. And he was right. I played that game for many years and we also started a clan. It filled up with the best people I ever met online.

We used Teamspeak to communicate and everybody was in there almost every day. We were always chatting and laughing in there. It felt like family. I was decent at Urban Terror and when I shot my friends they often said: Exyle, you twat! After they died.

Not once did it occur to me to look up that word on the internet that I used so much. I knew it was slang but I just assumed it was something friendly. Like buddy, chap or pal.

The day I insulted a baby

We are all online when one of the guys said he is getting married and he’s having his wedding in Bolton. We are all invited to go there. I just turned 18.

I fly to Liverpool and I was picked up by my friend Jeff (40). We had half a day to burn because we need to wait for another person to fly in.

We go for some food and then Jeff decides it’s a good idea to go to his sister’s house. She just had a baby and he wants to see him before we drive to Bolton later that day. I’m ok with it.

We arrive at her house and his sisters opens the door. She’s lovely and offers us drinks. The baby is sleeping in his crib. It's a boy. We walk over to the crib and we all are looking at the baby. He’s very tiny.

I play a little with his tiny feet, so small, and then a thought occurs to me! I’m going to say something lovely with my profound online knowledge of the English language. She will love it.

I turn towards the proud mother and say with my kindest voice:

What a little twat.

I never saw a woman turn so fast from kind to possessed. I’m still standing there with a smile on my face, oblivious to what I just said, while she’s turning into Satan. Thank god Jeff knows instantly what has happened. And he’s grabbing his sister and holding her because by now she wants to kill me.

‘He doesn’t know what he’s saying!’, ‘He doesn’t know what he’s saying!’, ‘He doesn’t know what he’s saying!’ Jeff repeats the words like a broken record. After some time, his sister calms down.

We quickly left after that. I still didn’t know what I did wrong. Jeff told me not to worry about it. Of course, he had to tell everybody about it later at the wedding. “You wouldn’t believe what Exyle did!!”


This story is now a classic in the group. And I learned only after I got home what it was what I said….I was just so innocent back then.

Six weeks ago, my own sister had a baby. So, when they guys ask me when I was going to visit the little twat we had good laugh about it and I realized that after 18 years they are still one of my favorite people in the world.


signature Follow Me @exyle

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Oh boy what a story. Thank you for sharing this. But as a look at the picture, you will never call a baby 'twat' again. You look very happy with the baby in your arms. Will you ever have one of your own?

Enjoyed reading your story, thanks for sharing!

Thank you!

Haha, running gags which survive decades within friends are just the best! One always has to pay for it, and in this case it was you...;-)
What I don´t understand is why you got flagged for this article??
PS: I wouldn´t use 5 tags since there seems to be a technical problem right now with the fifth tag, and I´d change 'happy' for 'funny' to position the post in an even more popular category :-)

Yes! I will hear about this until the end of days. I don't know why I got flagged but it happens sometimes. Thanks for the tip about the tags. I'm going to change happy and blog into funny.

You are welcome, good articles have to get full attention :-)

Pick ur own size u giant twat ;)

Hahahaha! your comment made me laugh! I deserve it.

O poor thing..that baby's mom was scary! Thanks for sharing!

Oh my God, that was hilarious!!! You just made my morning! I think I'm already following you, you're ezzy's friend, right? (He's awesome) Either way, I'm following you now :)

I'm happy that you enjoyed my story. Yeah! I am ezzy's friend and yes he's awesome :). Thank you for your nice comment!

Of course...I remember now, it was a post of yours that I discovered ezzy, wow and thanks for that! I'm really enjoying his book and his amazing energy :)

Lol, I'm sure if she knew you, she'd know what a kool guy you actually are! Beautiful post! Love the photo with you and baby, btw!

Keep posting your awesome and inspirational short stories, my brother... :)

Thanks, man! Everything turned out fine in the end and now it's a great story to tell! I love that photo as well. I'm very proud of him. I'll keep writing man don't you worry about that! I love this place.

HAHAH, that's the best ;) (fellow brit!)

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!