When My Time Has Arrived

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What if I know when my time has come? What if I can see God's Secret about my destiny?
What should I say to God? What should I answer, when God asks, What have I done in the world?

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I can not run anymore, I can not hide anymore, and I can no longer dodge. I have to answer, I have to account for everything I have done, Every good and evil will be counted, Every charity and my sin will be called into question. I can no longer run.

When my time has arrived,
What should I do? Will I plead and repent for all my sins? Is there still time to pray and pray? Will I be forgiven? Will God accept my repentance after the sins I have committed all this time? Will I still get His compassion? After more than a billion seconds I live in the world and my days are always filled with sin? Do I still deserve to go home in a holy state? after the crime, the hypocrisy, and the mistakes I made. I can not run anymore, everything I have to account for.

When my time has arrived,
what should I say to my parents? will they forgive me? After I just wasted their time just to take care of me who can never make them happy and after I always lie to them just to make my pleasure happen, Will they accept my request? After I never listened to his advice, and never showed my devotion. Will I get their forgiveness? after every day I am filled with a certain iniquity that is certainly hated by God. Will my regret restore their happiness, as when I was born and their hard work just to see me live to be a better person as they always said when I cried on their lap. Will they hug me? remembered how miraculous their lives were to hear their names in my prayers, and I ignored them. Will I be able to see them smile again? The smile they always show when I'm tired of being hit by the harshness of the world. I can no longer run, when my time has come.

When my time has arrived,
what shall I say to all my brothers? Will they forgive me? After I always troubled them, and irritated them for all my often childish attitudes. Will they accept my regret? After I can only make them sad because of my selfishness, who can never understand that they are always there when faced with difficulties and they always smile and embrace me because I am their hope. I can not run anymore, when my time has come.

When my time has arrived,
what to say to all my friends and best friends? After every time lies, betrayals, and hatred that I do always decorate the journey of their lives. Will they accept my regret? after often I hurt their feelings with my words and deeds and they always smile and keep reaching out their hands when I fall. I can not run anymore, when my time has come.

When my time has arrived,
what should I say to all my teachers? Will they forgive me? After I always make trouble and never listen to them. After I always ignore what should be my duty as a student. Will they accept my regret? After they are always patient to try to make me a better person. I can not run anymore, when my time has come.

When my time has arrived,
What shall I say to Earth and Heaven? After I can only damage and move my feet just to sin. Will they forgive me? after each of my steps is filled with things that are not useful and even always denied every Favor I always get from Nature by God's permission. I can not run anymore, when my time has come.

And when I know when my time comes,
Can all my faults be forgiven? A deliberate and unintentional mistake? Do I still deserve it? received His forgiveness? Is there still time to redeem all my sins?

After all the ugliness that I do, After the many Delights that I deny, and I do not give thanks. I am a contemptible, filthy and sinful, and God still loves me always giving me His Favors.

After the ugliness that always do with my breath, and I always ignore all his commands. After I always do what is forbidden and what He hates. After all that I can and deny. Will I still be forgiven?

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When my time has arrived,

When my body no longer lifeless, my breath no longer blows, my heart no longer beating, and blood no longer flow in my body.
As my body lay on the cold floor, my eyes closed and cotton covered all the holes in my face.

When my time has arrived,

When my body was just wrapped in white cloth, and the scent of flowers that enveloped around me.
When the ground is ready to devour my body, when only the board is in front of me and when there is no light in it.

When my time has arrived,

When my house is now without doors and windows, when there is no more room with air, and when there is no television that decorates my house.
When only a bunch of land and flowers that adorn the roof, and when there is no gadget or even a computer that I always hold.

When my time has arrived,

When I can no longer move, and move my whole body.
When there were no instruments and noises that made me dance.
As I can only hear the strains of the holy verses that lead me to my final journey.
When my time has come, Can I still dodge and beg to return?
When my tears will no longer mean, When the tears can no longer be steady will I still be able to run?

When my time has come, and when I know ..

I want to be reborn, I want to change everything.
I'm so sorry and to my heart I'm so sorry that everything I've done has never mattered and just made me sick myself.

When the time has come,

I love them so much I feel the best things I can think when they show me their love.

And when my time has come, God forgive all my sins and forgive all the sins of those who love me, love them as they love me. God accept my forgiveness, really only to You I come back, and only to You is I plead.

Posts above I wrote a few years ago and I had my post also at blogspot.com/istuningcee.blogspot.com, sorry if it occured something that is not pleasing, Thanks