It's all your fault!

And there's something you should do about it.

Recently I've begun trying to live my life with the attitude that EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT. Not as a self pity party or to gain attention from my loved ones, but to accept the fact that at this point in my life everything that I'm experiencing, everything that I'm dealing with, every possible manner of behavior that people approach me with, is the cause of something I've either done or didn't do. And I need to take responsibility for that.

Too often we're quick to accept responsibility for things when life is good, but try to cast blame on others when life sucks. When you got that raise at work it was because your boss recognized your value. Your efforts proved that to him. But when you got "down-sized" and fired, it's because your boss recognized that you weren't valuable enough to keep around. Your efforts proved that to him. So what should you do to prevent getting down-sized again? Increase your value to the company so much that they couldn't get along without you.

Your kids not respecting you? Our children only know what we allow them to learn. If they're not respecting you it's because YOU let them learn that behavior. If they're rude to others it's because YOU let them learn that behavior. If they're amazing, respectful, loving children, it's because YOU taught them that.

Boyfriend treating you like crap? Sure he might just be a jerk. But what's really going on? Taking on the concept that someone's behavior towards you is caused by your own actions, or lack of actions, will allow you to truly nail down the cause of unwanted behavior from another person. Have you communicated well enough your expectations and desires? Do you have a true understanding of his expectations and desires? It's not enough to "think" that we know what the other person needs, and it's certainly not enough to "think" that the other person should know what we need. It's our job to communicate these ideas in a way that you both understand. And once you do have a clear understanding of what he needs, are you willing to give it to him? Is he willing to give it to you? If the answer to either of those questions is "no" then you need to seriously reconsider why this person is in your life.

It's nearly impossible to fix a problem if you don't understand the cause. Understanding that everything in your life is the result of your decisions, actions, or inaction, and accepting this fact, will open the doors to healing and growth in ways that you've never seen before.

But it's entirely up to YOU if you are going to walk through those doors. Accepting the blame is only the first step. If you stop there and sit in your room crying over your mistakes, your life will never get better. Get up and recognize that your growth, healing, and happiness are your responsibility to make happen.

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