an institution that is expected to be influenced by sociological changes such as parenting can be expected to change and transform over time.
the increase in the rate of women's participation in the workforce in the last 100 years has been primarily due to the declining number of children per family.
In addition to this, while the primary responsible mother and father in child care and upbringing, the institutions such as nursery and kindergarten were added to this.
large family structures gradually evolved towards the core family. most parents now live in different places than their own parents, and there are no family houses in the village that look like a court yard.
their place has taken their place in certain socioeconomic and cultural positions, but this situation does not constitute the majority.
all of which greatly affected the parenting patterns.
.jpg)
especially the situation I see in my own self, we are the children of civil servants and workers' families.
we are children who know that they have to work to get a 'relaxed' life.
we all go to state school, successful ones go to the Anatolian city, the science city and jump one step forward.
I became a profession after winning university.
we are better than the economic level of our multiple families.
this one being included in the capitalist order and turkey, as well as have the effect of making more money our of our family.
When you were a child, banana was a precious thing, for example, chocolate was always defeated. Now these are like a remote dream ...
this one in our generation as well as the impact of Turkey's economic transformation has an impact on our individual success.
How does this parenthood affect our parenting attitude?
I think the effect of the idea of "we lose what we have won" in the obsession of 'my child is the best / most successful / the most beautiful' in our generation parents.
there is a concern that our children will lose the comfort we have in our consciousness.
The 'money = happiness' formula that the capitalist order imposes on us fuels this anxiety.
Everyone says that the child is the most intelligent, the most successful, and you save yourself.
whereas it is clear that the success of the course, the success of the school, or the 'good' profession does not always bring in money or happiness.
a person who does very little work, thousands of general surgeons can make more money and live comfortably.
this 'most successful' obsession is something that narrows the lives of children.
the child's capacity is certain, not every child can be 'the best'. there is an area where every child is good, but this is not enough for most parents. it is not as valuable as knowing math very well. those who enter the list of good schools from the mother's class, listen to the babies' interviews at the age of 1, listen to classical music while still in the womb,
schools are also fostering competition, your child knows more than 5 letters, the child is very imaginative, the child is very mobile ... the schools that force the child to become something that is not, the parents are getting worried as they are increasing their anxiety.
all of this demand and expectation disturbs the parent-child relationship as well as the enforcement of the child. When the parental expectation is not met, the child feels frustration, anger and sadness, it is reflected on this child, and the child who does not feel well enough is sick for many spiritual problems.
tiny children have depressive, anxious, behavioral disorders. parents who are expecting much from themselves, schools they have entered in order to receive structured education at a younger age, grow up distant to the sun and make children unhappy and restless.
families are buying toys to make their unhappy children happy. Every child has hundreds of gamers. 5 minutes after getting out of a faded toys. because when the child is going to spend with his mother rather than on the metal, he needs to be loved and loved as it is, and to get out on the streets, not transformers prime.
the families are doing what they want everybody to be restless.
whereas the child needs a border. want to be covered. where the information to be stored is not internally clear, it sometimes needs to be called a stop. the person who will do it is the parent but the parent is busy thinking that they are being imposed on him and that his internal desires push him into parenting. okay get your tablet, okay, let's get it, okay okay okay, trying to be a 'good enough' parent and actually doing exactly what you should not do. because the limitlessness will make the child even more uneasy ..
parenting is not a topic to be learned from books, life coaches, doctors. stop and think about what I expect from my child and how much of what I give him and how much is this arrangement?
be sure to make a much more peaceful relationship after you have removed your obligation to the capitalist order.
for example, you can stop buying her toys. leave it with the latch, the tavay, the nap. I know you get tired, but just spend 45 minutes a day with him. do it as you like, read books, play games or chat. Forget about your lessons, school or anything.
your child in front of you, the most loving, unrequited lover in the world. Be not only 'mother' / 'father' for him, teacher, life coach, educator. place reasonable limits, know where to stop, take that load over your child. Give him tasks, know that there is a place in life, a place. every child can take on various responsibilities according to their age. so grow and grow like this, do not do anything for him and make him incompetent, do not do what he can do.
When you reconsider your expectations, remember that every child is unique. your child is not your extension, but an exclusive person to that kind of person. take pleasure in yourself, talents, interests, respect and accept it. the best gift to be given to someone in the world is to accept it as a human being, do not spare this from your child.
Thank you for reading%)>