Socially-closed or just selective

I’ve noticed over time that my wife and I have become somewhat less social that we used to be the older we get. We’re not anti-social though, just selective with where we go and who we spend our time with and to be quite honest we don’t feel that it’s a bad way to be these days. We have friends, of course, however we are selective with them also and make sure we understand the difference between a friend and acquaintance.

There’s a few reasons for us holding to this belief, and way of life, which revolves around us having been let down, or flat-out taken advantage of, in the past, the fact that society has changed dramatically in the last 20-30 years and that we, ourselves, have changes also. We are less tolerant. Hmm, maybe that’s not the right word because we are both reasonably tolerant people; Maybe less accepting is the best way to put it. I think the main reason is societal changes though. So, we don’t lock ourselves away in a castle like in the image however we choose to stand somewhat apart from situations that many people would simply see as normal social interactions.

I have a birthday coming up this week and whilst I’m not concerned about the arrival of another year of life and the fact I’m going to be 49 I have been thinking about it. I don’t like celebrating my birthday to be honest, again, I’m not sure why although I guess it has much to do with the fact I prefer to keep a fairly low profile and don’t enjoy being the centre of attention. Something about birthdays just feel odd to me. I don’t believe anyone needs to celebrate the moment I entered the world all the way back in March 1970 and I certainly don’t feel any compulsion in celebrating my own birth at all. And yet many other people think it’s important, and that’s ok as well, for them. Oh also, receiving gifts from people on my birthday makes me feel really awkward. I just don't get it!

I’ve been asked by a few people I know about what I want to do for my birthday on the weekend as it seems they want to make a fuss about it. I said,"nothing", and was told I’m an idiot and that I have to do something. But here’s the thing…No, I don’t. Hmm, hang on…Maybe that’s the wrong way of looking at it though?

Is it right for me to throw a wet blanket over someone else's enjoyment or happiness? No is the answer to that of course, and therefore is it right for me to refuse a group of people (friends) the ability to enjoy a night out or make a small fuss over the fact it's my birthday? Hmm, a conundrum. Probably not though.

Anyway, at this stage there is nothing planned with our friends. It happens to be a long weekend also as there's a horse race on in Adelaide and for some reason a public holiday is declared for it. I'm not into horse racing but I'll take the day off! I'm not sure what's going on to be completely honest although I know there won't be much of a fuss made for my birthday. I'm hopeful that will be the case anyway. My wife knows how much I hate surprise parties...I actually even hate going to them when organised for other people, so I know that won't be happening!

To be completely honest the only thing I would really like to do is be with my Finland family for this weekend. You see, I share my birthday with one of my brothers who was born on the same day only nine years later. It was pretty cool as we had his 21st and my 30th on the same day in the year 2000...A day that will live in infamy for various, mostly hilarious, reasons. I won't go into it here though. It would be nice to spend his 40th with him on the weekend but that can't happen. I don't think he's making a big deal about his birthday either to be honest.

Am I anti-social or simply a grump? Well, I don't know. I mean I'm sure someone may read this and think it. I don't think I am though. I just prefer to stay out of the limelight and keep a low profile. I don't like people making a fuss over me; It embarrasses me. I'm more than happy to celebrate other people's birthday's but when it comes to my own...Well...Maybe I'm the birthday grinch after all?

Some may call my wife and I socially-closed although I don't believe we are. We are selective with our social interactions, covetous of our privacy and cautious with our relationships however with our friends are warm, open and hospitable people. I guess we prefer quality over quantity. In this society where everybody's business seems laid out for all to see we don't think it's a bad strategy. Sure, many will disagree...But then, this isn't their blog is it?

Photo by me: St Michael's Mount, Cornwall UK Follow the link to their webpage if you're interested.